What Does a Casual Relationship Mean?

couple in casual clothes lie dovn to the sofa

A committed relationship may feel a like a warm and comfortable blanket, but a casual relationship is more like the incredible rush you get on a rollercoaster ride. It gives you a racing heart and makes you feel dazed and confused, leaving you right back where you started at the end of it all! Read on for the best casual relationship advice.

What is a casual relationship?

A casual relationship is where there are no clear rules or any real long-term commitments. Both people are just in it for the moment, usually whilst they’re waiting for something better to come their way. To put it simply, casual relationships are a way for people to satisfy their sexual desires without getting into a serious romantic relationship. They don’t involve the same boundaries and rules, which can be appealing to many people.

Are casual relationships wrong?

If having a casual fling with someone is likely to negatively affect your wellbeing, then yes, it’s a bad idea. Continuing to sleep with a selfish partner whose only concern their gratification isn’t rational. However, when a casual relationship is unlikely to impact your wellbeing, it’s totally acceptable. As long as casual sex is consensual, and no-one is getting hurt, there is no harm in it. Some people will always see casual relationships as wrong and immoral, however, many people are enjoying sex-only flings all the time. Read on to find out how to casually date.

Casual dating rules

Keep emotions out of it

Casual relationships aren’t meant to be about emotions. They’re about casual sex and having a good time. So, if you start to feel as if you’re falling in love with the guy or girl you’re seeing, it may be time to re-think your situation. Avoid them for a few weeks to assess your feelings and to see if you still miss them when they’re not around. If you do, you’ve made the ultimate mistake in a causal relationship and it’s a sure-fire sign that it’s time to call it quits. On the other hand, if you feel as if you do want to begin a serious relationship with your casual partner, and you think they might feel the same, there’s no harm in seeing how the land lies.

Agree on the ground rules

Whilst there are no strict rules in casual relationships, it’s a good idea to have some basic rules to make your relationship work for you both. Ask your casual partner a few questions to work out if your relationship is what you’re both looking for. For example, you need to know if you’re both OK with being not exclusive and dating other people at the same time. You also need to determine how often you should meet each other, and if you’re both OK with ending the relationship if one of you falls in love with someone else. Another important question that needs to be answered by you both is whether this relationship is going to be a secret from everyone else.

Don’t let yourself be controlled

Almost always in casual relationships, one person has total control over the other. They decide when to meet up for a booty call and when to have space. If you find that your casual partner is too controlling, it may be that you’re falling for them, and agreeing to their demand because you don’t want to risk losing them. If this is the case, it may be time to walk away to avoid getting hurt.

Don’t fall for manipulation

Never let yourself be manipulated in a casual relationship, and don’t manipulate your casual partner either. Confusing them by saying things like “I need you in my life, but I want to fall in love with someone else” is a form of manipulation. You’re screwing with their thoughts and feelings. They will be left wondering if you have feelings for them or if you’re telling them to go and meet another person. Leave the manipulation out of it and be honest with your feelings. This is the only way your casual fling will work out for you both.

If one of you crosses the line, talk about it

Casual flings are so appealing because of the lack of rules and boundaries. However, if one of you oversteps the basic rules that you have agreed on, such as keeping your relationship a secret from friends, or not asking about your casual partner’s dates or hookups with other people, you need to talk about it. Casual relationships are a lot of fun, but if there comes a time where you feel angry or awkward, your feelings need to be aired and addressed. Your casual partner needs to know what’s on your mind.

How to finish a casual relationship

If the time has come to finish a casual relationship, don’t feel bad about doing so. Breaking up with someone is never easy and can lead to feelings of guilt and anxiety. But rather than letting things drag on when you’re no longer enjoying your casual fling, it’s best to just bite the bullet and let your partner know it’s the end of the road. If you can’t bring yourself to end things face to face, do so via text message or over Facebook chat. Breaking up with someone in this manner is frowned upon, but it’s surely better than ghosting them or continuing to date them when you’re really not happy. You’re entitled to your feelings and you have the right to leave this casual fling without feeling guilty. Be kind and respectful of their feelings but be honest about why you’re ending the relationship.

Knowing how to deal with casual relationships can be difficult, especially if the person you’re dating sees things differently. It might be that they want to be exclusive whilst you want to be able to date other people. Or you want to keep your fling a secret whereas they want to tell the world. That’s why it’s so important to set ground rules when it comes to just sex relationships. In doing so, you can ensure that there’s no confusion and you can get on with enjoying a commitment-free fling that works for you both.

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