Finding Love Again: How to Start Dating After Divorce

Divorce has been on the rise for several years, with almost half of marriages ending with the big ‘D’. It may be relatively common, but this doesn’t make it any easier for those who go through this torrid experience. Divorce changes your marital status, but it changes a whole lot more too. Suddenly, your life is a so different and you’re on a whole new path. Divorce is one of the hardest things you’re ever likely to go through, whether it was amicable or acrimonious. Fortunately, the pain and heartache that comes with getting divorced doesn’t last forever, and there will come a time when you’re ready to start dating after divorce. If this is the stage, you’re at, read on.

When to start dating after divorce

Knowing how to date after divorce can be tough, particularly if you were married for a long time. It may be several years since you’ve dated, and you’ll probably find that the whole dating scene has changed significantly. When you last dated, you may have headed to places like bars and nightclubs to meet singles or relied on friends to set you up with potential matches. These days, dating is often carried out online, with no need to even leave your home. Dating sites originated in the late ‘90s and have been growing exponentially in popularity in recent years. In fact, recent statistics show that as many as 20% of those in current relationships began online. Here’s how to start dating again after divorce.

Give yourself time

Picking up the pieces after a divorce can be a difficult and lengthy process, and it’s vital that you give yourself time to heal before dipping your toe into the dating pool. You’ve been through a sad and wrenching experience, and so rushing straight into a new relationship after divorce certainly isn’t advisable. Before you start dating, take the time to get to know yourself again and come to terms with life on your own. If you start dating again too soon after divorce, you’re likely to find yourself in a rebound relationship in which you end up using someone else to heal your pain.

Consider your children

You also need to consider that other people will be affected by your marriage breakdown, particularly your children. Divorce introduces a huge change into their life, whatever their age. They not only witness a loss of love between their parents, but they also need to adjust to going between two different households. Not being able to see one of their parents every day can be confusing and upsetting, and it creates a challenging new family situation. Their life is suddenly completely different to how it once was. With all this in mind, it’s essential that you give your child time to come to terms with what has happened before you start post-divorce dating.

Don’t wait too long though

Should you wait before dating after divorce? Yes, but not too long! Whilst it’s important to give yourself and your family time before dating after divorce, it’s also a good idea not to put it off indefinitely. After some time, you may become accustomed to being alone, and you might even start to enjoy the freedom that comes with it. You’ll have no-one to answer to but yourself, which means you can laze around in your pyjamas or watch Netflix all night without anyone judging you! Plus, if you wait too long, you will probably get cold feet. You’ll become increasingly scared to re-enter the dating world, especially if you’re not very outgoing.

Dating after divorce tips

Dating after divorce can be daunting, whether you’re looking for casual dates or a new relationship. Re-entering the dating scene is a big step, and one that you don’t need to be in a hurry to take. Rather than heading out to a nightclub and chatting to singles, why not let friends know that you’re interested in meeting new people, or sign up to a dating site and browse a few personals? You can take things at your own pace, making sure that dating after divorce is as fun and stress-free as possible. Read on for our best post-divorce dating tips:

Figure out if you’re ready

Whether it’s been six months or six years since your divorce, you may never know for certain if you’re ready for a new relationship. You were probably scarred pretty badly from the last one, and this can lead to lingering doubts about meeting someone new. However, it’s usually clearer when you’re not ready to date again. If the thought of going on a date leaves you horrified and leads to you locking yourself away with a tub of ice cream, you’re probably not there yet. But if the idea makes you feel a bit excited, you may be ready to start. Timing really is key when it comes to dating after divorce.

Keep a positive mindset

If you’ve been hurt by a painful divorce, it’s only natural to feel a little bitter. You may feel as if “all guys are jerks” or that all the good guys are taken. Whilst this is understandable, it’s not particularly helpful if what you really want is to find someone new. This negative mindset will only hinder you when you re-enter the dating world. It can affect your mood and limit your chances of finding a match. Keeping a positive mindset when dating after divorce can make you feel readier to date again.

Know what you want

When you’re divorced and dating, it’s so important to know exactly what you want. Sit down and have a proper think about what your intentions are when it comes to dating again. Are you looking for a new partner to share your life with, or are you just seeking fun times with likeminded singles? You need to consciously decide how to proceed when re-joining the dating pool, as this will make the experience so much easier for you. When you meet potential matches, be upfront with them about what you what as soon as possible.

Avoid self-sabotaging thoughts

Many divorced people think that there must be something wrong with them since their marriage failed. It’s important to know that this isn’t the case, and these self-sabotaging thoughts won’t do you any favours when you begin dating again. You need to train your mind to recognise these thoughts and then banish them when they do arise. Your marriage may have fallen apart, but this certainly doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you. There are many reasons why your marriage didn’t last, such as getting married too young, or perhaps you and your spouse just weren’t compatible enough to make things work in the long-run. The good news is, you will have learned so much from this marriage and it’s likely that your next relationship will be so much better.

How to meet women after divorce

Want to know how to meet women after divorce? There are several ways to find likeminded ladies when the time comes to start dating again. But before you start your search for singles, it’s important to make sure that you have healed after this very difficult experience. You should feel ready to date again with an open heart and mind. Here are our best dating tips for men dating after divorce:

Try a dating site

There are many great sites for meeting women online. You’ll need to create your own dating profile in order to tell other singles all about yourself. This should include your marital status, your age and location, as well as other personal information. It’s also a good idea to include a photo of yourself, as this will encourage people to click on your profile. Dating sites offer a quick and effective way to meet lots of different women in your area. Just make sure that you’re honest and open with potential matches. Don’t try to hide the fact that you’ve recently been through a divorce.

Ask friends to introduce you to singles

Friends can provide valuable support and advice after divorce, especially if they’ve been through it themselves. They can also help you to meet singles in your area once you’re ready to return to your local dating scene. Ask those who know you best to introduce you to women who they think you’re compatible with. If he or she has someone in mind, you could arrange to meet them for coffee, along with your mutual friend. If you get on, you can exchange numbers and arrange to meet up just the two of you. Friends can be excellent matchmakers, especially as they are likely to know you better than anyone else.

Meet single parents through your kids

If you have children, why not attempt to connect with other parents? Your kids may take part in sports games or community events, and these are great opportunities to chat with single mums. Smile and make small talk, but don’t be too full on. Keep in mind that not all solo parents are at the stage where they want to date after divorce. Having said this, if you do get a good response from a woman you’re chatting with, there’s no reason why can’t suggest getting a bite to eat after the game (with the kids of course!).

Knowing how to date after divorce can be difficult, particularly if you were left hurt and confused by your marriage breakdown. Hopefully, we’ve provided some helpful divorce after dating advice to help you through this transitional period in your love life. A divorce is one of the hardest things most people ever go through, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. As long as you give yourself time to heal, dating again after divorce can be a positive and enjoyable experience.