I Slept with My Boss or How to Handle Affairs at Work

flirt at the work

You spend most of your time at work and are in close contact with your boss on a regular basis. Naturally, feelings can develop, and you may want to take your relationship with your boss a step further. Whether you’re having a purely intimate relationship or want to take things further, there are positives and negatives to dating your boss and there are certain rules you must abide to ensure you’re not creating a hostile work environment. We’re here to help you find out whether you should date your boss or how to handle the situation if it has already gotten intimate with them.

Is it a Good Idea to Begin Dating Your Boss?

Firstly, even if you’re attracted to your boss, you must take a step back and decide whether this is the best course of action. Many workplaces explicitly state that relationships between employees are forbidden, let alone relationships between subordinates and bosses. So, you need to decide where your priorities lie.

Do You Just Want to Have Sex with Your Boss?

Is the way you’re feeling towards your boss purely driven by passion? Do you just want to sleep with your boss or is there something more? A lot of the time, people are driven to sleeping with the boss because of purely hormonal reasons as there is something sexy and subversive about sleeping with somebody you’re not supposed to. However, if you’re purely looking for a physical relationship, then it isn’t worth the time or drama.

You never know how your boss may be feeling and if you’re not on the same page in your relationship, then they hold a lot of power over you. They may say they’re fine about a purely physical relationship, but, may in fact, hold deeper feelings towards you. You could create more drama in the workplace and jeopardising your position at work for a fling. You don’t have to give into every animal urge that takes you.

Does Your Connection Go Deeper than Pure Passion?

Maybe you feel like you’ve really connected with your boss and have created a great personal relationship with them. Perhaps, overtime, this personal relationship and closeness has caused you to have feelings for your boss. It is not uncommon, as you’re likely to be in their presence for 8-9 hours every day. If you’re looking for something more than a friendly work relationship that doesn’t revolve around sex, then maybe it is time to ask them out.

However, you still need to be careful as you don’t know how they feel or how appropriate they believe it is. You’re still in a subordinate position at work and this imbalance of power is a tricky thing to handle within a relationship. Furthermore, your workplace may still find it inappropriate. You need to weigh-up your options before pursuing your boss and think about whether that connection is worth losing your job or creating an awkward workplace environment.

Is Your Boss in Love with You?

Perhaps you already know that your boss is attracted to you and wants to see where the relationship goes. Perhaps you’ve has similar feelings and are glad they have bought it up.

Either way, you may still be drawn into a difficult position; just because you know they’re attracted to you, it doesn’t mean the relationship will end well.

Think about how much that person is worth to you and how much you value your job. It may seem pessimistic to put practical options first, but these are two major things that impact your life. Ask yourself whether your work is more important than the possible relationship and vice versa before jumping in.

What to Do When You Already Slept with Your Boss

Sometimes, the heat of the moment takes you and when you end-up kissing the boss one thing can lead to another. Undoubtedly, this is an awkward situation and there is no going back after having sex with the boss, but there are ways to handle work and your relationship with them that can prevent workplace drama.

Talk to Them

You probably don’t want to relive the moment, especially if it was a one-time thing, but it is important to clear the air. You’re still going to be seeing them every day and you need to ensure you’re on the same page as to the status of your relationship. Don’t bring it up in work hours as you want to avoid bringing your personal issues into the workplace but try and contact them outside of work and figure things out from there.

Don’t Tell Anyone Until You’ve Talked to Them

It may be tempting to talk about the passionate evening you had with your boss, but don’t! Gossip spreads, no matter how trustworthy someone seems, and it is inappropriate to talk about these kinds of relationships at work anyway, especially as they involve a colleague. If you continue to pursue a relationship or if you agree it was a one-time thing, don’t mention it to anyone at work as you should keep your personal life away from your work life.

Don’t Make the Same Mistake

If you and your boss aren’t on the same page regarding the nature of your relationship, then don’t keep going back for sex. You can lead them on and create an even worse work environment as it becomes messier to handle the situation. If you can both move on from sleeping together, then don’t keep doing the devil’s tango as you create more problems than is necessary.

Ultimately, it is never the best option to pursue a relationship in the work environment, especially when they’re in a superior position to you, but it depends on your situation.

Some workplaces don’t mind work relationships happening, but some do. You may both be mature enough to separate your relationship from work or you may not. You both could sleep together and keep that separate from work or it may infect how you do your job. You can never know until you try, but the best bet is to be cautious and considerate in every situation.

Flirt safely, flirt online!