Look What Happens When You Ignore Your Deal Breakers!

adult couple

We like to think that we know what we want. Most of the time we are wrong. Oh man, are we wrong.

When we are young, we think we know exactly what we want in a relationship. We have that “list” of things that our partner must and mustn’t have. We adhere so strongly to those standards, we tend to think we’ll never be that one person who can live up to those insanely high standards.

That’s how young people think. Oh, and when we say young, we actually mean stupid.

Our younger selves tend to be so stupid by following this imaginary list of what your ideal partner had to be like. We think that these things were deal breakers and the importance of them would clearly define the love of your life.

Now, don’t get us wrong, we aren’t saying that you shouldn’t have any kind of standards when you’re looking for someone to date.

We’re pretty sure it’s a good idea that you stay away from sketchy characters who could do you harm. But, when we think about our perfect mate, it never really occurs to us that they should be more than just some collection of things you liked.

Yeah, it’s a good idea to date someone if they have similar interests in movies as you, but that shouldn’t be your deal breaker! Heck, their taste in movies could compliment yours nicely!

Why is it that you can’t have your own taste in art, music, or literature? Why do we have to be a 100% match? Why should it matter if she doesn’t like Shawshank Redemption as much as you, as long as she is funny, attractive, empathetic, smart, and incredibly loving?

In short, in a relationship you have to be willing to make compromises.

You have to accept and enjoy the other person for who they are.
When you think about it, what’s the appeal of loving someone that is a mirror image of you? Do you really want an idealized version of yourself or childhood fantasy to come to life, or do you want someone who is their own person, have their own thoughts and opinions? In short, do you want a real person?

When you let go of these deal breakers that make no sense (the ones that dictate what interests they must and must not have, for example), you’re narrowing your chances of finding someone incredibly special. Just think about all the people that might have passed you by over the years, simply because they didn’t match everything you had hoped for.

In short, don’t limit your chances of finding love by adhering to this list that you’ve concocted one night over chocolate milk and your homework from high school. Give everyone who comes into your life a chance. You never know who could walk in your life and be everything you’ve been hoping for.