Signs You’re in a Rebound Relationship and How to End it

black coiple in quarrel

Rebound relationships can be one of the most painful, and are often the most tempting. You have someone who is hurting and desperate for attention – ready and willing to shower affection on you for the privilege of calling you their replacement. Rebound connections are difficult to identify, since the symptoms can be easily overlooked.
Here’s what you need to keep an eye out for if you think your boyfriend is on the rebound.

What Is a Rebound Relationship?

Being on the rebound is to seek out an immediate replacement girlfriend or boyfriend after a breakup. They want to springboard away from the pain of the breakup and you’re the closest available human to fill the void. The danger of these rebound relationships lies in the fact that you’re an emotional scratching post until they find something better to do. Those connections don’t last, they don’t have very deep meaning, and it can open a lot of doors to broken hearts.

Signs of a Rebound Relationship

winter date

They Just Came Out of a Longer-Term Relationship

If they broke up with a girlfriend of a few months, that’s one thing. If they were in a relationship for years, then you need to worry. That kind of emotional attachment doesn’t go away and especially won’t after just a few months apart. They susceptible to running back at the first sign of hope and they’re not emotionally steady enough to hold down a real relationship with you.

They’re Too Comfortable with You Too Fast

Relationships take time to build. There is a checklist of social steps to be marked off as you go from strangers to friends to eventually lovers – and if they’ve jumped those weeks and months of getting to know you, and arrive instantly at “it’s like we’ve known each other our entire lives!” then this is a symptom of a rebound relationship. Strong relationships are long relationships. If they’re not allowing time to grow your connection, then they’re not worried about it breaking under stormy times. They’re not taking you seriously, because you’re just a replacement.

They Talk about Their Ex – Especially in the Beginning

When someone seeks out a rebound relationship, you can be sure the ex is still on their mind. It’s alright to mention an ex here and there, but out of fear of scaring you off, they should be wary of speaking about their ex early in the relationship. If they aren’t, it’s because the ex is so present at their thoughts that they can’t help but talk about them. You should be their main focus; if their mind is still wandering backwards, then it’s time to take stock.

They’re Suddenly Showing You Off

There’s a reason “meeting the family” is a big relationship milestone. It’s important that you feel comfortable with each other before bringing people into your relationship, and who wants to risk scaring off a new girlfriend with a weird family if you’re not sure the connection will last? If they’re introducing you to their friends and family after only a few days or weeks of dating, then they’re not worried about building a strong foundation for the relationship. They don’t expect it to last, or don’t care. It’s a sign your boyfriend is using you to fill a void or as arm candy for special events.

They’re Impatient

The early days of dating will be the best moments of the entire relationship. You’re both on your best behavior to impress one another. If they’re not exercising this kind of restraint, then not only can this be a warning sign of an abusive relationship waiting to happen, but it also means they’re not trying to build a unique relationship with you – they’re comparing you to their old relationship, where patience wore off as time went by. They’re frustrated when you don’t live up to their expectations, and it comes out as impatience.

Ending a Rebound Relationship

lying woman with black hair

Ending a rebound relationship is never easy. Emotions are raw, feelings are more easily hurt, and you can be sure this breakup will compound the issue of rebound. However, it has to be done.

  1. The Sooner, the Better
The longer you wait, the harder it is to end it. You’re investing more time, patience, and affection every moment you stay. It’s time to rid yourself of it quick, like a Band-Aid, before the emotional connection and subsequent fallout get any worse.

  2. Be Honest about It
Hiding behind the old “it’s me, not you” will only cause more problems. If you’ve identified that you’re in a rebound relationship, then be honest about it and give them the chance to act like an adult. You’re not happy in the relationship, you don’t think it’ll go far, and you don’t want to hurt them more by being their rebound. They may not like your reasons, but it’s better than dancing around the truth.

  3. Make it a Clean Cut
It’s easy to think the relationship might work later, after they’ve had time to heal. However, that’s just not the case. They needed you as a tool, and the person they really are isn’t the one you know. That was a person hurting and desperate for attention. By keeping in contact and giving hope for a future relationship, you’re stringing both yourself and them along, and making it more difficult to move on with your lives. If fate happens and you run into each other in the future, then take it as it comes, but don’t wait for it. Make the breakup a clean cut.

4. Don’t Rebound for a Rebound
Now that you’re fresh from a relationship, don’t make the same mistake they did. Don’t immediately find yourself a new partner. Give yourself time to think, evaluate, and even heal before you consider moving on to a new relationship. You don’t want a repeat of this problem and you don’t want to risk running into another rebound.