Why Do Women Get Over a Break Up Before Men Do?


Contrary to what romantic comedies everywhere would have you to believe, break ups aren’t over with a few days of said break up. We all have experienced that devastating blow when we are told that we are no longer good enough for our lover and they want to kick us to the curb.

The movies would tell you that a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough, a couple bottles of wine, and a cry-fest with the best friend is enough and you’ll be as right as rain the next day. In truth, sometimes it feels like your world has been shattered and the only way to make it all go away is if you hold up under the covers and never come out again.

Of course, we can’t do that. Life doesn’t just stop simply because our heart has been broken. We still have jobs to do, families to raise, friendships to maintain, and bills to be paid. Then, on top of having to deal with the everyday nonsense, we have people in our ears telling us that there are plenty of other fish in the sea and that he made the stupidest mistake ever by letting you go. Like, duah! We already know that!

So through all of this, we are told that the now infamous ex seems like he’s getting along fine, but your friends tell you that he is disguising his pain, because, you know, he’s a man and men never have emotions. Oh, did we mention that according to research from experts in the US have discovered that when a woman is dumped, she really does experience more pain the men.

Ah, before you start shaking your fist in frustration, you can rest assured that although you are in agony right now, you won’t be feeling it as long as he will. When relationships come to an end, ladies tend to feel like they have more to lose because she has to start all over again. This can be especially difficult for her when she is at the point where she is already envisioning a future where there’s a white picket fence and two little kids running around.

However, since women tend to be more open with their feelings, they are more eager to turn to their friends and family for support. Through this, women are able to get that coveted closure that we all seek.

Ah… If only the men could be more like the ladies, they wouldn’t be the ones suffering months (sometimes years) after the breakup. Men are more likely to keep their emotions bottled up and those bottled up feelings turn into resentment and will make the guy bitter. Oh yeah, men can get bitter too! Men are never truly able to open up and get that closure, thus allowing them to move on. In a sense, you can describe a guy’s reaction to the breakup as being self-destructive. According to Craig Morris, a professor who conducted the study, believes that although he may seem like he is coping well (he may even started a new relationship), there is a good chance that he isn’t completely over you.

So, in a sense, when you think that he still wants you after you bumped into each other at the grocery store, you very well may be correct with that assessment. And later when you are Facebook stalking him, and you notice that his new girl looks an awful lot like you, you can sit there feeling smug and know that he is just trying to replace you with some cheap imitation. Although you may have been the one to get dumped, you are the one that is coming out on top and not pining for someone who didn’t want to try and make it work with you.

Ladies, if you have a guy friend who is in this situation and he is distraught with his grief (although he won’t admit it), give him these five tips to help the healing process.

  • 1. Focus on yourself.
  • 2. Communicate with the people closest to you.
  • 3. Limit your contact with the ex.
  • 4. Build up your shields and cut her off.
  • 5. Remove anything that reminds you of her.
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