Why is Forgiving Your Ex Necessary For Your Health


You caught your fiancé in bed with your best friend.

Your ex stole thousands of dollars from you and skipped town.

Your ex wasn’t who they said they were and you found out about their secret life.

Whatever the case may be that led you to be hurt by your ex, you may feel like you will never be okay and you can’t find it in your heart to forgive them. That deep seeded anger prevents you from letting go of that hurt and you’ll find that it will eat you apart.

Many people feel that they are invalidating their experience by forgiving their ex, and they are essentially letting them off the hook for the damage they’ve caused. What we don’t realize is that we are only hurting ourselves more by holding onto that pain.

Here are some very important reasons why you may want to forgive your ex.

1. Healing and Closure

When you are able to forgive someone, you are allowing yourself to start the healing process. This process will allow you to move one step closer to moving on and leaving the heartache behind you.

2. Forgiveness For You

The act of forgiving your ex is not for their benefit, as you aren’t actually calling them up and saying, “Hey, I forgive you for hurting me.” No, you are coming to terms that although they hurt you, you are not allowing their actions from the past to continue to hurt you.

3. Forgiveness Allows You to Release Emotions

Emotions like blame, anger, sadness, and betrayal are usually the result of being hurt by an ex. These are the emotions that fester and grow much more intense the longer that you don’t forgive them. Why? Because until you actually forgive them, you are replaying the pain over and over, letting it grow more intense.

4. If Children Are Involved, They Suffer Too

Whenever kids are involved in a relationship that didn’t work out due to some hurtful stuff, they will always pick up on the bad vibes, especially when you are harboring resentment and hurt feelings. By forgiving your ex, you are releasing those bad emotions and you’ll find that your mood will improve, thus making the home life much better for both you and the kids.

5. Helping Improve Your Health

You may not realize it, but when you hold on to painful memories and that hurt continues to build up, it plays hell on your health—emotional, mental, and even physical. You can literally make yourself sick by not forgiving someone. Just think about the last time you were so angry at someone, your stomach was constantly in knots, you couldn’t sleep, and you couldn’t even enjoy activities that normally brought you joy. Those pent up emotions caused by being hurt by your ex do nothing but continue to hurt you until you are able to say, “Okay. You hurt me and I’ll never be the same again. But, you know what? I’m not going to let it control me anymore and I forgive you,” you are not going to feel your best.

You have to remember that the act of forgiveness is for your benefit, not theirs.