Find Closure After a Breakup and Leave the Past Behind

couple in quarrel

If you have experienced a break-up or are going through a break-up, you will instantly be able to relate to the feeling of being alone and leaving the person that you love behind. There will be countless memories that you have made together, good times and bad times that you have shared and they might have formed a large part of your life. All of this can leave you feeling empty but how can you achieve relationship closure and leave the past behind?

There is no doubt that break-ups are horrid. They leave you feeling bad about yourself, they leave you wondering about what might have been and they leave you asking questions about how you could have done more. The process of healing can take some time and that is a given because you are turning someone, who was once so very close to you, into someone who will become a complete stranger. The process is hard and on-going but telling yourself “I need closure” will enable you to go on a journey where you might ask yourself “what is closure in a relationship” or “why me”, but ultimately, in the end, things do improve. To get to that point, to get to a time where you have peace of mind and requires you to do more than just have a closure talk after breaking up. So, how can you achieve complete closure?

Refrain from making contact

A break-up is exactly that. It is when the two of you move apart from one another and cut all ties. Therefore, why should you need to make contact or even have a relationship closure conversation? When you break-up, you need to remove yourself from any reminders that could be lurking and the best way to do that is to refrain from making contact. If you remain in contact, the sound of their voice, the feeling of having them there and the ability to contact them will leave you holding on to those feelings of how things used to be. You need time to heal and to achieve that you need to move away from all contact with them.

Let the healing process take its time

There is no real secret or rule to understanding how to get closure after a breakup but you have to understand that the healing process can take time. As each day passes, you are taking steps in the right direction and sure, there will be times where something will happen that will reignite a memory but that is all part of the process. However, the more you keep going back and re-thinking over things and stirring up old memories, the more pain you will experience. Therefore, if you need to ask yourself some serious questions in order to achieve closure then go right ahead because you need to do whatever it takes.

Start to move on

Sometimes, to achieve complete closure, you need to start to move on. If you fail to move on then you might find that you go around in circles. Sitting and wondering whether you were the problem or whether you had changed as a person will get you nowhere, so cast those thoughts aside and move on. Use the pain that you feel and even the thought that your ex is moving on to drive you forward into a new chapter in your life.

Coming to terms with what has happened is the way to getting past your problems and while you might feel optimistic about the chances of getting back together, you have to focus that optimism on the new journey you are about to take. When you find peace in this, you will find that moving on will become a lot easier.

Try to be happy

Any kind of break-up will result in your emotions being scattered everywhere. The smallest of things can have you scurrying for the safety of your bed while places, songs and even smells can take you straight back to particular moments. You will experience sadness, anger, heartbreak and hate because of what they have done to you. When it comes to gaining closure, you will understand that you will never be together again and so, these emotions will soon subside. However, up to that point, you need to do all you can to cope and you effectively need to grab life by the collar and come to the fact that you might have made mistakes, it might have been your fault or that you could have done nothing at all to make it right. You can take solace from the fact that you are both responsible for it coming to an end. So, the energy that you waste on being sad should be put into being happy and surrounding yourself with people who care and can help you seek closure.

Don’t let your emotions turn you into someone who is bitter. Take the emotion, turn it into joy and happiness and accept the fact that your ex is no longer your enemy because they are no longer a part of your life.

Reflect and leave it all behind

As you find your way to complete closure, it is important that you reflect on what has happened. You should consider just how it has made you a better person because a relationship that has ended might leave you feeling weak and vulnerable at the start but once you come out the other side, you will be an individual who has the ability to control their emotions and make the most of what lies ahead. Life is all about opportunities and as one door closes, another one will open because that is what often happens when it comes to relationships, but remember that it takes time because there is no hard or fast rule to finding the closure that you need.

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