Making the Right Impression when Meeting His Friends

2 couples drinks together

Meeting your boyfriend’s friends for the first time can be even more daunting than meeting his parents. After all, his friends are the people who he spends a large amount of his time with and that know him better than anyone. He wants to impress them and for them to like you just like he does (although perhaps not as much). This is a sign of commitment though and that he is serious about your relationship as it’s a big step for a guy. For you it can be nerve racking – what do you say, what do you wear and how do you handle that first meeting? How do you make the right impression when meeting his friends?

Be yourself when meeting his friends

Your boyfriend is with you for you and not some made up or over exaggerated version of you so relax and be yourself. Of course, if you have a very outgoing personality and like to be the centre of attention, you may want to tone it down for that first meeting and let them get to know you gradually. Don’t overpower the conversation when you meet them for the first time. Make small talk and ask them questions such as what they are into and what they do for a living job. Listen to them and engage with them.

Make an effort to look good

While your boyfriend may have seen you first thing in the morning, lazing round the house on an oversized T-shirt and loves how you look, this is not the attire that his friends are used to. Whether you are going out on a couple’s date or meeting a group of his friends, he wants to impress them. He wants to show you off – not as a trophy but he’s proud that he’s with you so make an effort to look your best when you are meeting his friends.

Try and get along with his friends

His friends are important to him and you must understand that you need to get along with them. Even if you don’t hit it off, you need to smile, be polite and try and play nicely. It is important to your man that you get along with his friends, some of whom he will have known for many, many years and been through a lot with.

But don’t flirt with them

While your boyfriend wants you to get along with his friends, he does not want to flirt with them. Even if it just your natural manner, your fella doesn’t want to see his girlfriend flirting with his friends of 20 years! Not only is it uncomfortable for him but also his friends who may enjoy it but not at the expense of their friend. Save your flirting for your boyfriend.

His best friend may not be keen to share him

This can be particularly difficult when you are stealing his “wing man”. If they are used to do everything together and he has never had to share him with anyone, you can be seen as a threat. You may have to arrange dates for three or try setting him up with one of your single friends however don’t set your best friends up – this can change the whole dynamic, especially if something goes wrong.

A few golden rules when meeting his friends

Just a few things to keep in mind if you want to be accepted by his friends and to ensure that the first time you meet them you create the right impression:

Don’t overshare information

You don’t want your first chat to be that you know what they got up to ok the last weekend away. This is boys stuff and you don’t want to break the bond between your man and his buddies. So, no recalling the time that one of them got into trouble or referring to the lads’ big weekends! This is a lad’s code and you could betray his trust by breaking it.

Enjoy the banter but don’t go too far

While you can prove that you can give as good as it gets and join in a bit of banter, don’t go too far. Behaving like a potty mouth and using your best put downs is probably a bit premature at this stage.

Don’t drink too much

Even if his friends are big drinkers, you don’t need to try and go head to head and see who can put the most away. Slamming tequila shots like there is no tomorrow will end badly. You need to be more conservative than that on your first meeting and don’t let your boyfriend’s mates first memory of you being sick in the gutter and ordering a 2am kebab.

Don’t be on your phone

This is probably the most anti-social thing you can do when meeting with friends of your boyfriend, especially if it is the first meeting. Being on your phone could be viewed as extremely rude. We aren’t saying you can’t whip it out to add them on Facebook or show them something but don’t be texting back your friends or responding to the snapchat group chat. Keep your phone away if you can.

Remember they are his friends and you are his girlfriend

All too often, and especially in the early stages of a relationship, you can end up spending most of your time together. This often means that neither of you see your friends as much as you did before. This is not good and can lead to bad feeling with friends. Remember that you both need to make time for your mates. You also need to be aware that you can’t start turning up on boy’s days however well you fit in. He needs time with his buddies and it puts pressure on them if you are there and their girlfriends are not invited. It is important for both of you to have time with your own friends.

It is a very important meeting when you meet your boyfriend’s friends for the first time. He wants them to like you and for you to like them. If you are in it for the long haul, it is likely that you are going to be spending more time with these people in the future. Make your best effort to get on with them and to appreciate what your boyfriend sees in these people and what they have been through together as they have been there a lot longer than you have.

Make new friends on and have a great time!