Moving in Together? Here’s How to Approach such a Big Commitment

Many relationships follow an established pattern. You meet a new partner. After a few wonderful, memorable dates you find yourself thinking this could be ‘the one.’ After another spell of passionate encounters you instinctively know your connection is leading to the next level: sharing the same roof. The prospect of living together is thrilling and possibly one step away from making the ultimate commitment and tying the knot. Surely this is cause for celebration? Of course, it is, as long as you also focus on the bigger picture.

Tips on living with your girlfriend

Much as this process indicates your relationship is heading into the excitement of long-term commitment, it’s important to think practically. There’s so much more to moving in with a girlfriend than anticipating having someone to cuddle on the couch and share your bedtimes with.

In the first instance, you need to make some financial plans. Much as that might seem like a bit of a passion-killer, the importance of establishing a viable budget cannot be overstated. In most relationships, especially if this is a whirlwind romance, it’s highly unlikely your personal finances will have been at the top of your conversation topics. But you’ll need to know whether living with your girlfriend is something you can ever afford to be considering.

Are you buying a place outright? You’ll need to pool your resources in order to put the money down for a deposit, or for the legal fees involved when hiring a solicitor to handle the paperwork for buying a house and taking out a mortgage. If you’re going to be letting somewhere, you’ll still need money to put down on a deposit and advance rent. Once you’re in your shared home, other outlays will include regular monthly rent or mortgage payments, fuel bills, telephone charges, Broadband rental, food expenses, and on and on it goes. What if one of you would eventually find difficulties contributing to a 50/50 split on all your outgoings? If one party ends up having to lean heavily on the other, this can lead to friction.

On the other hand, having the foresight to agree on a budget will leave you free to concentrate on the fun aspects of living together. It will also establish a sense of trust, introducing new levels of maturity to your partnership.

Moving in with girlfriend? What are your ultimate motives?

Any serious relationship requires honesty at all stages. People sometimes move in when they’re overcome with the flushes of falling for one another. But what are the questions that might be less forthcoming? Exactly what is your ultimate aim? This is something you’ll need to consider because having differing aspirations can be another source of conflict.

Matrimony might well be something you’ve discussed, in which case that’s fine. But what if you’re only making assumptions about what your partner is hoping for? What if one of you is dreaming of wedding bells while the other is solely focused on the benefits of splitting household bills down the middle? As with the budget plans, honesty is your best policy.

Making sacrifices when living with your girlfriend

Tips for moving in with your girlfriend include the need to make compromises in order to maintain a content environment. Guys sometimes find quite a wrench moving from their scruffy bachelor pad and into a more domesticated setting, particularly if their girlfriend takes pride in keeping her décor tidy. Having computer games and consoles lying all over the place is not ideal.

You can discuss which posters you’d like to display in the living room, but for the sake of harmony, you might have to resign yourself to stashing away your prized football team portraits.

Live together but enjoy time apart

One of the best tips for living with your girlfriend is certainly not the most obvious. That’s to relish the time you’re not actually together. When you’re sharing the same roof it can be difficult having ‘me time.’ But it’s very important to maintain a life out with your relationship. The purpose of this is to give you breathing space, but also to ensure you adhere to the old adage ‘absense makes the heart grow fonder.’

When you’re not actually living in each other’s pockets you’ll have more time to ponder on what the other person means to you. So arrange to see your own friends and family on regular occasions. And there’s nothing wrong with going out of your way to having a separate social life. Maintaining your independence will actually strengthen the bond you have.

Turning over a new leaf

Finally, when considering how to make the most of this opportunity, ask yourself a question you might not have done before – how to be a gentleman to your girlfriend? Moving in together is such a lasting commitment that new levels of maturity will be required if you are going to make this venture as successful as it could be. These newfound obligations should extend far beyond simply remembering to leave the toilet seat down.

You are entering a whole new phase of your partnership, one where you can embrace a sense of equality. As well as sharing bills, there will be ample opportunity to dazzle your girlfriend with some of your talents. How about setting aside regular nights to wow her with your culinary skills? Cook up a variety of sumptuous dishes to whet her appetite.

But one of the best pieces of advice about setting up home together is to enjoy your new status. Make the most of this change of circumstances by throwing regular get-togethers. Invite friends round to dinner parties. Eat, drink and be merry. Having great celebrations inside your shared abode will bring you even closer.