Dating After 40: What to Expect When Meeting Singles

adult couple in white clothes

Meeting a man who’s right for you is hard, especially if you’re over 40. You’re probably not meeting guys in nightclubs anymore and it’s likely that your circle of friends hasn’t grown much in years. Dating in your 40s can be problematic, but it’s certainly possible, particularly with it becoming easier to meet singles online. More and more older people are looking for love later in life, so you can rest assured that there are many guys in the same boat. Here’s what to expect when searching for your dream man when in your 40s.

Dating in your 40s: the pros and cons

Dating after 40 is a lot different to dating in your 20s, and it’s important to understand this before you re-enter the dating scene. Whilst dating again later in life can certainly be challenging, there are also several advantages too. The dating landscape has changed dramatically over the past 20 years, with online dating becoming increasingly popular amongst singles of all ages. You’ll also need to consider how you have changed since you last dated. Do you still want the same things? You’ll need to re-assess your requirements when looking for a new partner. However, despite the challenges of dating after 40, it can also be fun and enjoyable too, especially as you’re probably much more confident and comfortable in your own skin.

More responsibilities and commitments

Dating in your 40s can be tough, particularly as you’re likely to have more responsibilities and commitments than you did when you in college. You may now have a busy career that demands much of your time and attention, or a family that needs taking care of. When you were younger, you were probably able to dedicate much of your time to your partners, but this is no longer the case. It’s important that the person you’re dating understands that your career or children will take up much of your time. It may be that they feel neglected at times, however, this is all a part of dating after 40.

Problems with ex-spouses

There’s also the possibility that you’ll need to deal with ex-spouses when dating in your 40s. They’re likely to remain in the picture if you or your new partner have children, and this can prove problematic, creating a certain level of awkwardness or even drama. It’s possible that your or your partner’s ex may try to damage your new relationship, causing friction between the two of you. The reality of former spouses can make dating someone in your 40s a little difficult at times.

Changing dating landscape

As if there wasn’t enough to deal with when dating at 40, you’ll also need to get your head around the plethora of dating apps and sites that have reared their heads in recent years. Dating in your 20s may have meant getting all dressed up and heading out to local bars and clubs in search of a match. These days, you meet many new people in your area online, from the comfort of your home. It can make dating easier, but you’ll need to take some time to assess the various options available to you when it comes to finding potential partners online.

Clearer priorities

You may be pleased to hear that dating in your 40s isn’t all doom and gloom. In fact, there are many advantages to dating later in life. Firstly, you’re likely to have much clearer priorities than you did when you were younger. You’re older, wiser and have a lot more life experience, which means you’re more likely to date people who are right for you. You know yourself really well at this point and you’re likely to make much better dating decisions. There’s also a lot more at stake when dating in your 40s, particularly if you have children. So, you’re unlikely to waste your time dating Mr. Wrong.

Less self-conscious and insecure

Another advantage to dating after 40 is that you’re probably much less self-conscious about your body. Early adulthood tends to be filled with insecurity about body image, which can make dating a worrisome and nervewracking experience. However, once you hit your 40s, you’ve likely learned to accept yourself, even if your body is a bit less forgiving than it once was. Plus, because we become more aware of our health and fitness as we age, you’re likely to be eating more healthily, exercising more and getting plenty of sleep, which is great for energy levels and confidence.

A better sex life

What’s also great about dating over 40 is that women tend to become much more sexual creatures at this point in their lives. This may be due to being less concerned about getting pregnant or may simply be down to hormones. Either way, women over 40 are just getting warmed up when it comes to enjoying great sex! You might not be as athletic or flexible as you once were, but the desire is still there. In fact, many couples in their 40s are having the best sex of their lives thanks to a willingness and enthusiasm for exploring their sexuality. They’re more likely to feel more relaxed about trying new things, such as role play or using toys together. This may be down to increased sexual confidence or a stronger sense of what they want between the sheets.

How to date after divorce at 40

Knowing when to start dating after you’ve been through a divorce can be hard. You’re likely to be feeling a real mix of emotions or even feel totally confused about what you’re feeling. Divorce can hard on everyone, including children, and it’s important to make sure you’re completely ready before you jump back into the dating pool.

Give yourself time

Divorce is always hard, whether it’s amicable or acrimonious. However, time is a great healer and it’s important to give yourself enough of it before you start dating again after 40. It can be tempting to rush right in after the divorce papers have been signed, however, this is a bad idea as you won’t be thinking clearly and you’re likely to be very vulnerable. Rather than rushing into a new relationship that’s unlikely to last, use the time to get to know yourself again, as well as friends and family who are important to you. You need to readjust to life on your own and you can’t do that whilst dating. Re-consider whether you’re ready to date again a few months down the line.

Consider your children

Knowing how to date after divorce at 40 can be difficult, but you need to consider your children in any decisions you make. They will be massively affected by your divorce, yet they may not really understand exactly why their parents have split. This can be confusing for them and they may lash out emotionally. At this difficult time, dating other people may not be appropriate. It’s best to wait until they have come to terms with what has happened. Introduce the idea of you dating before you do anything. This will reduce the level of shock they experience when you do introduce someone new into their lives.

Feel good about yourself before dating again

Divorce can knock your confidence, leaving you feeling depressed and even worthless. You may feel like a failure because you were unable to make your marriage work. Your emotions are likely to be all over the place. So, before you jump in feet first and start dating, you need to feel good about yourself again. Do things that make you feel great, whether that’s hitting the gym, reading great books or spending time with friends. Once you’ve re-learned how to be on your own and feel great again, you’re ready to start a new relationship.

What do 40-year-old men want in a woman?

If you’ve only ever dated younger men, you’re probably feeling a little apprehensive about dating after 40. You’re no doubt wondering ‘what do 40-year-old men want in a woman?’ and if you have the qualities they’re looking for. Here are the top qualities men in their 40s look for in women.

Caring and kind

Generally, older men tend to want someone who’s caring and kind, unlike younger guys who often focus more on appearance. Men in their 40s know that looks aren’t everything when seeking a mate, choosing to focus on finding women who are loving and nurturing instead. Most men come to realise what is truly important in life, recognising that beauty is largely skin deep.

Fun but honest

Men over 40 are no different from younger guys in that they’re seeking fun women. Whatever age we are, fun is one of the key ingredients in a relationship, and without it, things can quickly become boring and stale. Let’s face it, without fun, life would be pretty meaningless! Honesty is also important to men of all ages, suggesting that men are very aware of the risks of having “too much fun!”


Most men over 40 have had their share of romances, and with romance often comes heartbreak too. Therefore, it’s no surprise that men of this age expect loyalty from someone they’re dating. When he’s trying to build a future with someone, the last thing he wants is to be betrayed. Before he welcomes you into his life, he’ll want to be sure that he can trust you. He doesn’t want to have to worry about a woman being unfaithful with another man, or constantly wondering where she is. He wants to feel secure in his relationship and know that he’s with a woman who’s loyal and faithful.

Many lonely women over 40 delay their search for a partner, and this is often because they just don’t know where to start. They’re so apprehensive about what to expect that they put it off for years, even if they feel totally ready to meet someone new. Hopefully, we’ve provided some valuable guidance to help you navigate the dating world as a 40-something woman. You’re bound to make some mistakes along the way, but there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be a positive experience. There are a number of challenges when dating after 40, but none of them are insurmountable. Your dream man is out there, so what are you waiting for?!