The Ins and Outs of Dating a Cougar

adult couple

Going out with an older woman is much more common today than it used to be as there are more women of a more mature age who’re looking for love. Many women would have been married from a young age, so wouldn’t be dating later in life or if they lost their husband, then they were likely to not look for love again. Today, more women date later in life and don’t look for someone to settle down with until they’re older. Even more cougars may have already done that and are looking for something different which is why they begin to date younger men. If you’re wondering about the complexities and nuances of dating an older woman, then don’t fear as we’re here to help you navigate your way through the mature dating scene.

What is a Cougar in Dating?

Many singles may not know how to determine if a woman is a cougar or not. Some people have more sophisticated systems that determine a set of behaviours, but mostly any woman who is dating over the age of 40 can be considered a cougar if she is searching for a younger man. If the man she is dating is closer to her age bracket, then she is not considered a cougar, but if she is dating someone – for example in their 20’s – then most of the time she is considered a cougar.

What Are the Benefits of Dating an Older Woman?

Dating an older woman has its benefits and if you’re searching for a specific type of relationship, then dating an older woman might be the perfect solution for you. Just as there are positives to other areas of dating, you’ll be able to experience a plethora of advantages when dating an older woman including:


Older women tend to be more independent as they have already built their life without it involving you. They will have friends, hobbies and interests that haven’t been formed while in a relationship with you and therefore are going to participate in activities without you. This gives you space apart and lets you pursue areas of interest without feeling like you’re excluding your partner. Furthermore, they’ll have a day-to-day routine that is less centred around you, meaning both of you will have more time to do things you want to do.

Less Drama

Anybody at an older age is less likely to get involved in dramatics; whether its talking to an ex or playing petty mind games, you’re less likely to experience childish behaviour from an older woman. Considering this, you’re less likely to be at each other’s throats all the time or feeling the need to one-up each other within the relationship. However, remember you’re still younger and are likely to get caught up in that behaviour in which case the woman you’re dating will have no time for you.


She doesn’t need you in her life and she knows that. She’s done perfectly well without you and will do again which gives her confidence. Furthermore, she has spent years understanding her strong points and knows exactly what she is looking for in a relationship and beyond, making her more comfortable and confident in every situation.


Perhaps that sounds like a bad thing, but that is only if you expect your relationships to be breezy which they won’t be. An older woman is more likely to challenge you
intellectually, emotionally and intimately as she knows that she wants and is willing to get it. If you’re sick of entering relationships where the person doesn’t work at reforming your partnership and creating a lasting connection, then an older woman is perfect for you as she’ll constantly challenge you to be better as she knows that is what she deserves.

How to Handle Relationships with Older Women

Now that you know the benefits of dating an older woman, you need to understand how you need to act to retain your relationship. An immature, thoughtless and dull younger man isn’t going to keep an older woman interested in long – no matter how attractive you may be – so you need to be able to hold your own and bring something to the table too.

Respect Space

She has her own life to lead and so do you, so its no use hanging off her and expecting her to do things for you. The last thing an older woman wants to be treated like is a version of your mother, so you need to be able to be just as independent and give her space when she needs it as well as when you do.

Don’t Play Mind Games

Young men can be just as bad as playing mind games as young girls, especially if they feel threatened. If you’re insecure, then dating an older woman will bring these things out as she won’t give into your petty needs. However, by doing so you’ll only drive her away instead of forming a closer connection.

Be Engaging

If you wanted to date an older woman because you thought she would bring more to the table conversationally, then you need to expect to put the work in too. You may love her for being cultured, classy and intelligent, but if you’re not on her level in some respects, then she is going to get bored and look for someone who can engage her in a sophisticated manner.

Dating an older woman is always going to be different from dating someone younger, so you must get out of the relationship mindset you have created. Even if you don’t end-up dating someone older, these tips are great to bring into your dating life to make you more appealing to classy women everywhere. Just remember, it can be fun to date an older woman, but you’re only going to experience the best aspects of it if you’re willing to put the work in too.

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