Dating Tips for Gay Men: Things to Avoid Doing on the First Date

Gay dating can be a little tricky if you’ve been out of the game for a while because you’ve recently gotten out of a long-term relationship or maybe you are new to the world of dating as a gay man. Whatever the case may be, when you do finally go out on that coveted first date, there are some things you should make a point to avoid if you want a second date.

1. Be mindful of how much you share. Naturally, when you are going out on a date with someone, you’re going to be talking about yourself. You’ll want to talk about the basics, for example, things like what you do for a living, where you grew up and delve a little into what sort of hobbies you enjoy doing.

Just remember that you don’t want to overshare. This means you should avoid topics that would be better saved for conversation later in the relationship. This can include how much money you make, your political or religious views, or how many partners you’ve had in the past.

2. Ask questions but don’t pry. You’re probably going to have a slew of questions that you want to ask this hunk of a man that’s going out with you. It’s natural and expected. However, you probably don’t want to ask so many questions it makes him feel like he’s being interrogated by the CIA.

You can avoid this by thinking of one or two questions before you meet up. These questions should be open-ended questions that allow the other person to respond in a way that drives the conversation forward, instead of stopping it dead in its tracks.

3. Avoid getting too preoccupied with sex. When you are going out on a first date, naturally you’re going to start wondering what the sex will be like. As a gay man, you may even wonder whether the person you’re meeting is a top or bottom, but you probably shouldn’t ask his preference on the first date. While it is true that sexual chemistry is important to any relationship, if you mention sex or sexual topics on the first date, they may get the wrong idea and assume you only want to hook up.

4. Don’t try so hard to impress your date. Yeah, first impressions are really important, but you don’t want to be so consumed with making a good impression that you act out of character. If you wouldn’t do something when you are with your friends, you shouldn’t feel like you have to do it for this stranger. Always remember that you have to be true to yourself since your date agreed to go out with you and not some facsimile of you.

5. Only have one alcoholic drink. If your date plans include going to a restaurant or somewhere where there is alcohol available, limit yourself to only having one alcoholic beverage. Now we get that for some people alcohol is liquid courage and it helps to loosen you up so you can be less nervous and more sociable. However, if you drink on the first date with the intention of catching a buzz, not only are you showing your date that you need alcohol to have a good time, but you could get sloppy.

A great way to steer clear of alcohol is simply to avoid the venues where alcohol is easily obtainable. This means instead of going to a restaurant or bar, meet up for coffee and ice cream. Instead of going to a baseball game, try going rollerskating instead.

By following these five rules for things to be avoided when going on a first date, we’re sure you’ll be able to ask for a second date! All you have to do is put yourself out there and be yourself.