Flirting and Dating Mistakes (Almost) Every Woman Makes

man and woman with tablet

We all make mistakes in the game of love and some mistakes are so common we figured we’d address them – once and for all. That way you can all avoid making the mistakes we made. Ahem.

Answering Every Text Message as Soon as You Get It

Some men and women have turned it into an art to be flaky with text messages. They’re irritating. It’s not sexy to be hard to get to the point of ridicule. However, it’s also not sexy to be available 24/7. Why? Because it signals you have no life. All you care about is the text messages (or the man on the other end).

It’s easy to get excited in the beginning when someone texts you. We get it. But for you to signal to him that you have a healthy life where you care more about your friends, family and career than the guy you just met, you need to get on with your life first and answer those messages second. Reply to them after you’ve finished coffee with your friend. Reply to them after you’ve finished the tasks you were going to finish at work.

See text messages as a treat – savor them. Then reply to them.

Once you get into a conversation with someone it’s different, or if you’re already on lunch or sitting at home doing nothing. Or for that matter if the guy is asking something important, or something which needs confirmation (like what time to book movie tickets for).

Changing Your Schedule to Fit His

This is pretty much the same as the texting. To be attractive you need to have a life. If you cancel time with your friends, stop paying attention to work – and instead always make yourself available to your date – you will come across either as clingy, or as not having a life.

Talking Faster Than a Cannonball Can Fly

You’re on a date and slightly nervous. You want to make sure there are no funny silences. So you talk. A lot. And very fast.

The best way to make sure there are no funny silences or you end up having the craziest monologue in history? Slow down. If you get nervous take a breath, don’t babble. As soon as you slow down, you’ll find that you won’t be so nervous anymore and conversation will flow naturally.

Being Overly Stiff

Body language does a lot of our speaking for us. To make sure a man relaxes with you and feels that you are interested, you need to relax.

Tips – train yourself to check in with your body from time to time during the day. See how you’re sitting and how your body feels. And if it’s not comfortable, then take a big breath, relax and position yourself more comfortably. This will work wonders for your body as well as your future dates…


Some of us start talking really loud or really quiet when we get nervous. Neither is a very good tactic. Make sure to check in on the volume of your voice. In daily conversation as well. Because chances are you might get very loud or very quiet at other times too; for example when having an important meeting, or doing a presentation.

Being Overly Agreeable

Sure it’s nice to have things in common with someone and put them at ease by agreeing with them, but you have to be true to yourself. Be who you are. Men like a woman who is herself and has her own opinions.

That’s not to say you should put him down in a negative manner if you disagree with something he says, learn to be tactful, but also learn to communicate how you feel and what you think in an agreeable (no pun intended) manner.

When Talking About Exes

Some men love asking you why it didn’t work out with the guys in the past. As if they can assess your psychological make-up when they hear your reply (and maybe they can…). If, in truth, the guy(s) were not so nice, rather than list a ton of reasons why the guy you picked was a douche, say you were incompatible. If you are slagging off exes, he thinks he might be the next guy getting slagged off.

Talking About All Those Other Men Who Want to Date You

Sure you can mention that you are popular (he should know there’s competition), but don’t scare the guy off. Believe it or not some men struggle with self-confidence and him knowing that every guy in a miles radius want to date you might make him a tad nervous.

Likewise, talking about other men you find attractive isn’t a turn on.

Talking About Yourself Negatively

Some women apologize for who they are, what they like, their flaws, even their greatness. Don’t. Be who you are. Own it.

If you make a mistake, apologize for that. Other than that, see yourself as a gift. Present yourself as a gift. Anyone you’d truly have a great relationship with would see you as a gift. And if they wouldn’t see you as a gift, you wouldn’t want to be with them.

Thinking You Have to Be Like Their Ex…or Anyone Else

If someone is on a date with you it’s because they want to be. So why think they would rather be with someone who is not like you?

Getting a Bit Too Tipsy

Have a glass of wine, or a cocktail. Stop at that.
A glass of wine or a cocktail can relax you; give you a nice buzz after a long day. That’s sexy. Using drink as a way to up your courage, or getting so tipsy you start getting dizzy isn’t a turn on. If you need confidence, build it. Don’t trust alcohol to give it to you. Besides, if you can be confident when having a drink, you can be confident when you don’t. After all, it’s the same person you’re presenting.

Not Giving Compliments

Men like feeling like men. More than anything they like feeling like studs. So if you like a man, give it to him; compliment him.

Damsel in Distress

Feminism has done a lot of wonders for the world, but women pretending that they never need a man is not one of them. A man likes feeling needed and so do, in all likelihood, you. Allow him to flex his muscles when he carries your bags, or opens the door for you. Sure you can do it yourself. Of course. But let him spoil you and show your appreciation for it – it will make him feel like he’s giving you something; like he brings you something of value.

And when you had a bad day, asking for a hug isn’t a crime. If a guy adores you he will want to take care of you. It doesn’t mean you’re helpless. It means you’ve got an open enough heart to accept some love.

Note that this isn’t the same as thinking a man will do everything for you and showing up hysterical at his doorstep when you’ve had a bad day.

Overdoing It

It’s nice to laugh at a guy’s jokes if you find them funny. Hysterically giggling isn’t. Likewise, it’s nice to meet their eye, but staring till your eyes pop out isn’t. Touching someone when making a point is flirtatious (please do). Touching them every time you speak isn’t.

Completely Ignoring Him

Whether you’re in a club and spot a nice guy, or you’re dating them, completely ignoring someone isn’t a good technique.

If you just met someone in a club, looking in their direction every so often (i.e. not every minute) and smiling is the signal that a guy needs to know that you’re interested.

If you date someone you need to keep having a life. Giving it up isn’t going to make you look sexy. However, pretending to never be available isn’t either. Have a life and make time for your man.