Who Pays on a Date?

man pays for woman

First dates are awkward enough at the best of times, let alone when you start having issues about who should be paying. Even if you have been having a brilliant time, the issue of what to do with the bill could make or break a date if it isn’t handle correctly. Fortunately, we’re on hand to offer our advice on how you can read the signs of your date, implement dating etiquette and ensure there are no battles raging about who should pay the bill on your first date.

Who Should Pay on a Date?

Evidently, every situation is going to be different and it is up to you to have your wits about you as to who should pay on a date. You shouldn’t presume that someone should pay for the date and neither do you want to be too pushy about the topic either, so what are your options?

The Guy Pays

Traditionally, the guy would pay for the date but we’re in modern times and it truly depends on what you’re comfortable with. I would say if you’re not that bothered and he insists on paying, then let him as he probably feels it is his duty to pay for the date. However, you should never presume that the man you’re going out with should pay either.

The Girl Pays

This probably happens a lot less than the guy paying for the date, but it can happen. It is less likely to happen on the first date and is more likely to crop up after you’ve had a few dates as it becomes fair to start splitting things or dividing things up.

Go Halves

Sometimes, this is a brilliant compromise and means that everyone can be happy. Once again, it is up to you and your ability to communicate effectively with your date to what you feel is the right option.

So, it mainly comes down to what you and your date are comfortable with. Try not to go in with any expectations of who should pay, and you should be able to avoid any awkward moments as you’re grabbing the bill.

Paying for Dates Etiquette

is it a date if he pays? going dutch on a date

Now that you’re aware of the possible options and know you shouldn’t jump in with any expectations; it is now time to prepare you for how you should approach the question of who is going to pay for the bill on the first date.

Go for the Bill First

This is more key if you’re a guy as there are still certain expectations that feel like they cannot be avoided. If you go for it first and say you’re getting it, then you open-up the discussion of the bill without seeming like you’re trying to cheap out by asking who is going to get it.

Listen to Your Date

You need to have a keen ear for their tone and how they’re structuring their conversation about the bill to tell if they’re bothered about you paying it. If they insist on halving it or paying for the whole thing, then don’t keep saying you’re going to get it. You need to be able to learn how to read people and you’ll be able to discern what to do to avoid any awkwardness about the bill.

Have a Conversation

Depending on the person you’re on a date with, it can be good to have a small discussion about who is taking the bill. As long as you keep it calm, casual and – once again – don’t presume anything of your date, then you should be able to work out between you what is the best thing to do.

Let it Go Once it is Done

Don’t keep bringing-up the situation, who paid and that you would have paid it as it can turn a good date into something sour. Once you have worked out what way you’re going to do it, then enjoy the last few moments with your date without bringing-up the bill.

Is It a Date if He Pays?

Another common misconception you want to avoid is that it automatically means you’re on a date if the guy you’re out with is paying. Obviously, if you have met online for this purpose, then you know it is a date. However, if you know this person generally, then it can be harder to tell. As always, don’t make any presumptions and see where the night takes you as it should be about having fun and getting to know the person, you’re with, whether it is a date or not.

She Paid for the First Date

If the girl you’re seeing has paid for the first date, then don’t worry about it too much. She doesn’t probably think of you differently and neither does anyone else. Too many guys assume that they need to take control and that you haven’t done your gentlemanly duty if not, but that is not the case. She isn’t testing you or had a bad time just because she paid. Some women don’t particularly like someone else paying for them, so simply take every situation as it comes and understand that everyone has their own way of doing things.

As with everything that is about dating, understanding who should pay the bill or what you should do is up to you and the other person you’re with. There is no complete formula for dating, otherwise every date would go swimmingly, and we know that doesn’t happen. As long as you don’t keep beating yourself up about the situation and can continue to enjoy your time with your date, then the bill is nothing to worry about. After all, dating etiquette is important, but they’re looking to get to know who you are as a person first and foremost.