How to Politely Decline and Say No to a Date


Have you been dating someone who you’re not just that into? Perhaps you think they’re really great, but you’re not physically attracted to them? If so, you may be wondering how to turn them down without hurting their feelings. Rejecting someone is never easy, but you can soften the blow in a number of ways. Read on to discover how to politely decline a date when you’re just not feeling a connection.

How to decline a date

Rejection is tough to take but dishing it out isn’t a walk in the park either. Fortunately, there are several ways that you can reduce the awkwardness and hurt that can arise from turning someone down. Whether you’ve been on a few dates with them and you’ve realised they’re not right for you, or you’ve been asked out by someone unexpectedly, these tips should help you to handle the rejection as gracefully as possible. Here’s our how to say no to a date politely and spare their feelings as much as you can.

Be honest and direct

Turning someone down can be awkward, particularly if they’ve made a big romantic gesture towards you. However, it’s important to be honest and direct if you want to keep them from getting hurt. As well as being honest with the person who likes you, you also need to be honest with yourself. If you know that it will never work with someone, don’t agree to go out with them just because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. This will only drag things out and delay the inevitable. Agreeing to date them out of pity may only lead to them becoming more hurt and upset in the long-run. Whilst you don’t need to explain why you’re turning them down, being open with them may help. For example, if you already have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or you’re just not looking to date anyone right now, tell them so.

Be kind and respectful

It will no doubt have taken a lot of courage for someone to ask you out, so try to be as nice as possible when you turn them down. Rather than acting disgusted or responding harshly, show them that you appreciate their gesture. You should treat them as you would want to be treated in the same situation. Use a soft, gentle tone and stay calm. If you have mutual friends, don’t be tempted to gossip about what happened. They already feel rejected, so don’t lead them to feel embarrassed or ashamed too. Keep the situation between the two of you and move on.

Ghosting is a no-no

Ghosting is a recent term that involves a person cutting all ties and communication with someone they’ve been seeing. The theory is that the person who’s being ignored will simply “get the hint” and realise that their love interest is not interested in dating them. Ghosting is becoming more and more common, but this doesn’t make it right. It leaves the ghostee feeling very hurt and confused, and in some cases may even have a serious impact on mental health. If you want to know how to turn down a second date or let someone know that you’re not into them, don’t simply hide from them. Be courageous enough to tell them directly that you’re not interested in dating them.

How to politely decline a date via text

If you’re wondering how to say no to a guy nicely but you want to reduce the awkwardness as much as possible, don’t be afraid to turn to modern technology. Sending them a text message is a swift and easy way to let them know that you’re not interested in going out with them. Texting allows you to think carefully about what you’ll say, reducing the likelihood of you blurting out the first thing that comes to mind and hurting them unintentionally. Keep the message short and to the point whilst remaining polite and gracious. Turning someone down via text is also a good idea if you suspect that the person who likes you may not take your rejection very well. If you’re worried that they may become angry or not accept you turning them down, it’s best to keep a distance between the two of you.

Although it can be flattering to be asked out on a date, there may be occasions when you don’t want to accept the request. This is perfectly acceptable, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about doing so. However, it’s also important to handle your rejection politely and gracefully if you want to limit the amount of hurt and upset the other person experiences. Hopefully, these tips will give you an insight into how to reject a guy nicely.