Why Does Love Hurt so Much When a Relationship Breaks Down?

Why does love hurt so much and how can you feel better?

Love can make us feel amazing. When we are in love dopamine, serotonin and adrenaline are all released in our bodies and we are literally walking around on a high. Being in love is the best feeling and one that is hard to beat, but what happens when it goes wrong and our relationship breaks down? Why do those feelings suddenly change so rapidly and why does falling in love hurt so much? Well there are a number of reasons why but often knowing why doesn’t it make it feel any better so how can you deal with the pain that love can cause?

Understanding the signs of a relationship breakdown

It’s not always easy to see it coming. When someone is about to break up with you, you may be blissfully unaware of their intentions. Most of the time though there are signs that things aren’t right. You may not have had physical relations for a while, you might not do anything together anymore and when was the last time you called each other just to say ‘hi’? There will be times when it does come completely out of the blue.

Why people fall out of love

Often it is because there is no longer a connection, you no longer fit together and things just aren’t the same as they once were. If you were very physical and had a strong chemistry there may not be those same feelings once you have lost that initial sexual attraction. You may not have become ‘friends’ as your relationship developed and have reached a point where you don/t have anything in common. Unfortunately, though, and this is the part that really hurts, just one of you may have lost that loving feeling. There could be another person involved and that could be the reason that the relationship is ending.

What to do when you have lost that loving feeling

It may be that you are no longer feeling those feelings that you once had for the other person – even if you are the one to end things, it can still cause you a great deal of pain. You end up carrying around guilt and a sense of loss which can be hard to deal with. While you can try and end a relationship nicely, you can still question if it is the right thing to do or you could fear the reaction and repercussions from the other person.

Let them down gently and be sure

If you are going to be the one that ends the relationship, you need to ensure that you are doing the right thing. You don’t want to put the other person and yourself through all of that hurt only to decide that you are actually still in love. Be sure that it is the right thing to do. Let them down gently but don’t give them the cliché break up lines. Be clear that you want to end things and try and be honest without being hurtful

What to do when someone breaks up with you

While you may want to shout, scream, hurl things at them, spray paint their car or put horrible objects through their letterbox, you need to try and keep some dignity. No-one wants to be on the receiving end of a break up and while this part of being in love can be so painful, you need to try and manage these feelings. You need to try and be strong when someone breaks your heart! Easier said than done, right?

Take some time to process things

It takes willpower and strength to walk away and take some time to process things and not let out all of your feelings there and then. It is important though to analyse things. Perhaps if you are honest, the relationship wasn’t what you expected and in truth, you aren’t really happy either. You also need to try and focus on the positives about new opportunities and try not to dwell on someone that really isn’t right for you.

While love hurts and can cause as much pain as it does happiness, there are always more fish in the sea! Yes, it may sound like a cheesy and overused line but it is true. It won’t always hurt like this and things will work out for the best. You are just waiting to meet the real love of your life.