Are You a Hopeless Romantic? You Very Well May Be a Demisexual!


In today’s world, sexuality isn’t as clear-cut as we once thought it to be. There are so many different ways to label your sexuality, it can be a little confusing. Why, you have the heterosexual to homosexual scale, heteroromantic to homoromantic scale, female to male (gender identification) scale, and then the sexual and asexual scale.  Demisexual is a classification that is determined on the asexual scale.

If a person is demisexual, it’s an orientation that describes your sex drive as being somewhere between being asexual (having no sexual desire) and sexual. Demisexual describes someone who is unable to be sexually attracted to someone unless there is a solid emotional connection with them.

Typically, this means that they are interested in engaging in sexual contact with only someone that they can be in a relationship with.

How Can You Tell if You Are a Demisexual?

  • Most of their relationships begin as a friendship. With a demisexual’s relationship, they are built on a deep feeling of trust and security that attracts them to someone. There usually isn’t a honeymoon period for a demisexual. Instead, this is their period of uncertainty.
  • They put more weight on how the first date goes than other people do. While everyone else is complaining about how no one wants a commitment anymore, you feel a different sort of pressure. You use the first date to determine whether or not you want to see them again or not. You focus on every little detail about the other person, whether they chew with their mouth open or they are of an incompatible star sign. You let everything sway your opinion.
  • They still feel a sexual attraction to someone they don’t know, but it never lasts long. People often believe that a demisexual is only attracted to someone who they have a romantic connection with. Contrary to that, they still get sexually attracted to someone based on how they look. However, for them to act on it, there has to be a deeper connection there.
  • They crush hard on someone. It takes a lot for you to be attracted to someone, so because of this, they will take crushes very seriously. Most people usually grow out of the “crush” phases once they reach adulthood, but for you, they’ve only intensified as they got older.
  • Their friendships can be confusing for them, especially if they are a friend with the gender that they are attracted to. When they have an unrequited crush, it is usually with a friend. Sometimes it gets to the point where they are surprised that they are attracted to the friend, and even more surprised by how they can’t seem to just “go back to normal.” Instances like this make it awkward for the friendship to continue because the feelings aren’t returned.
  • They get called a prude when in truth they are just more interested in being intimate with someone that they feel a romantic connection with. Many people feel like it’s “average” to sleep around. However, there is no normal. Many demisexuals are offended by people’s assumption that there is something “wrong” or they are a prude.

When the sun goes down at the end of the day, you can only do what feels right to you — even though people will try to make you feel bad for your own choices.