The Dating Guide for the Newly out Lesbian


When we’re growing up, our parents gave us the talk about the birds and bees. They assume that we are going to be straight and the talk is tailored accordingly. What many newly out lesbians struggle with is how they can meet and date other lesbians.

Well, look no further! We’ve come up with a basic lesbian guide that you can go through if you’re a newly out lesbian, or if you know someone who may be.

Where Do I Meet Other Women?

If you live in a small town, it can feel like an uphill battle when it comes to trying to find other lesbians. Probably the biggest and most helpful tip we can give you is to find another lesbian to be your wing-woman. Where can you find her?

Think a little bit: is there a lesbian at work or in class that you’ve never talked to? What about at the gym or the bar? Maybe you know someone whose relative is a lesbian. Any of these are possible, and any of these are perfect ways to meet other lesbians! Tell her that you’re newly out and you want to know where to meet the single ladies. The chances are that she may invite you to go out with her and her friends. If not, well, there are other women out there!

Do I Have to Meet Women at a Gay Bar?

Of course not. You can meet women anywhere! While we don’t recommend that you try searching for a girlfriend in a straight bar at first. You’re going to be sorely disappointed. Now you may not like what we are going to tell you, but your best bet is to go to the gay bars actually! They exist for a reason, and they can be a great way to meet local lesbians.

Of course, if you’re too nervous to try that route, you can always try the online dating scene. Many women prefer this method of meeting other women because it can be anonymous until you are ready to make your identity known. You can talk to thousands of women from all over the country, and you can do it whenever you have the time. In a way, it’s perfect.

Who Pays the Bill on the First Date?

Okay, your straight friends may have had this conversation countless times. Generally, the guy typically pays for the first date. However, since you both are women, who pays? Well, it’s simple. While you could split the bill, you definitely amp up the romance factor zillion times over when you insist on paying. If your date insists on splitting it, you can tell her that you will pay since you asked her out. Yes, it can be that easy.

What Should I Wear?

It’s crazy that no matter your sexuality, women always wonder what they should wear. Honey, wear whatever you feel amazing wearing. If you’re comfortable wearing a flannel shirt with leggings, go for it. If you tend to prefer cocktail dresses and stiletto heels, then, by all means, rock it! Simply because you are a lesbian, that doesn’t mean you have to do a crew cut and get all butchy. Stay true to yourself!

What about Sex?

One of the better parts about dating lesbians is that there is no slut-shaming involved. If you both are comfortable with one another and the mood is right, then why not go for it? Sure, you will still want to practice safe sex, but you shouldn’t feel like you have to wait a pre-determined length of time to get down and dirty.

Dating another woman can be scary, but it can be oh-so-exciting as well. You’ll want to do whatever you feel the most comfortable doing and go with the flow. When you meet the right woman, you’ll just know.