Is It Possible to Make Yourself Fall Out of Love with Someone?

couple quarrel

You’ve fallen for the wrong person. Or the person who used to be in love with you has fallen out of love with you. How do you get over them? How to fall out of love with them? Is it even possible?

In short, yes, you can certainly aide the process of falling out of love with someone. There are things you can do and contemplate that will help.

Love isn’t just about the connection you have with someone. Sometimes you meet people who are incredible. Not only that, you also have an almost unreal connection with them – feel like they understand you inside and out. You feel seen. It’s magical. If you, on top of that, have great physical chemistry too, it seems like an unbeatable combination. Yet, to make a relationship work, one more thing is needed: the relationship.

Just because we find someone fabulous, or we have an incredible connection with them, it doesn’t mean that they will be great for us. And is it really a whole lot of fun to be in a relationship where you’re never given what you want? Or being in a one-sided love affair and you love but they don’t?

It’s not just the person that needs to be great, it’s the relationship too. So the first thing to do, is to ask yourself if the person was really all that, and if the relationship was really all that? Even if it was good to start, if it wasn’t good in the end, then do you really want that? Or do you want something that’s all round magical?

Remember, you can meet someone who is all round fabulous and whom you have an all-round fabulous relationship with and that’s where your focus should be. The dream about that. Not about getting someone who doesn’t care. That’s not love. That’s not fun.

Don’t get tangled up in the good old memories either, or what could be if only they saw the light. Rather focus on what isn’t, what wasn’t and what you’d rather find in the future.

Next, you need to create a life you love for yourself. Start by looking after yourself – eat healthy, exercise (doing something you love, not something you dislike) and make sure to get enough sleep. Care about your mind and body. Really appreciate yourself. And get the wardrobe and hairdo to match. Let people see on the outside who you are on the inside.

Then set about creating a life you love. Bust through your fears and go for what you want. Spend time with friends, or come up with plans for making new friends. Do things you’ve always wanted to do, but never got round to. Create the career you always dreamed of. Not only will you stop reminiscence about a relationship that is no more, you will most likely end up with a life you love better and, as a result, a new person who fits you better.

If you can, take some time to go somewhere new too. A change of scenery often means you get so caught up in new things you forget about the old. No more things reminding you about the past round every corner.

Remember though, that creating a new life for yourself doesn’t mean you’re ignoring your emotions surrounding getting over someone. Accept the pain, or else you’re just suppressing it, which means it’s still there. Face it, let it go and move onto creating something much better.

Below you find some falling out of love quotes that are poignant and might help you with your journey:

“How do you know when it’s over?”
“Maybe when you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you.” – Gunnar Ardelius

“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.” – Nicholas Spark

“I guess that’s what saying good-bye is always like – like jumping off an edge. The worst part is making the choice to do it. Once you’re in the air, there’s nothing you can do but let go.” – Lauren Oliver

“You can’t look back – you just have to put the past behind you, and find something better in your future.” – Jodi Picoult