What are the Best Questions to Ask on a First Date?

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It’s that exciting first date where it’s all brand new and you have a list of questions to ask. It may be that you met online and you have been chatting away for a while and already feel like you know so much already but there’s still more to discover or it may be someone you haven’t really got to know yet. The important thing about a first date is obviously the first impression that you create and finding out if the person you are dating is someone that you want to see again. To ensure you find out what you need to know and the conversation flows, you are going to need to ask some first date questions but what should you ask without looking too forward or like someone is not really interested.

Questions to break the ice

The main purpose of your questions is to break the ice and start a conversation that flows naturally as well as discovering more about the person that you are with. There are literally hundreds of things you could ask but let’s consider what you should ask:

• How do they spend their spare time?
• What is their favourite movie/song/TV programme/book?
• What countries have they travelled to?
• What does their job entail?
• Do they have brothers or sisters?

These are all pretty standard questions, there are questions you could ask to get a more creative and inspiring conversation going such as:

• Who would be your ideal dinner party guests?
• Where would you love to visit if you could travel anywhere in the world?
• What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done – this one could be an eye opener?
• What’s your worst habit?

Of course, the questions that you ask will need to be gauged or adjusted depending on who you are with. If you are date turns out to be someone really outgoing that doesn’t mind chatting about anything you can probably get away with quirkier or more forward questions than someone quiet and shy.

Try and ask open-ended questions

It can be very easy to answer with just yes or no answers so to try and encourage conversation, ask them a question that they can’t just give a one-word answer to. Some people will answer with a more detailed answer anyway but just in case they are shy or don’t really seem to like talking about themselves then you may need to give them a little encouragement to speak. If you are the one answering the questions try and be a little chattier to encourage the conversation.

Listen to the answers and don’t interrupt

As tempting as it may be to get excited and carried away with a conversation, let them actually respond to your previous questions and listen to what they say without interrupting. If they say something that really strikes a chord and you feel like you have something to add, wait until they have finished speaking. Also, acknowledge what they have said by repeating it back later in the conversation to show that you are listening.

Questions not to ask on that first date

While there are many questions you probably want to know the answer too there are probably some that you shouldn’t ask, especially on that first date. You might be with someone that doesn’t mind answering anything you have to ask but it is wise to gauge the situation and start with icebreakers rather than straight in with what may come across as an odd question to ask.

• Why are you still single?
• Where do you see this going? (it’s date 1 so let’s go easy)
• How many other dates do you have?
• Does my bum look big in this?
• How many kids do you want?
• How much do you earn?
• Who is paying the bill?

It’s all pretty straight-forward, right? There are just some questions you shouldn’t ask even on the 2nd or 3rd date, especially if you want there to be more dates. Keep it light and not weird!

Don’t scare them off before you even get started

As well as the inappropriate questions you could ask on a first date, there are a few other things to be mindful of if you want there to be the next date. How you respond to their questions is something that gives away a lot. Are your arms folded while you ask the questions or are you looking at your phone while they are answering you? It can be off-putting if someone is distracted or checks their watch so make sure you give them their undivided attention while they answer the question that you asked.

Give them the opportunity to ask questions

If you are so busy asking them questions that they don’t get chance to ask you questions then they are going to leave the date not knowing much about you and feeling like they just talked about themselves a lot. Likewise, if you are busy answering questions and they don’t want to interrupt, it is probably a good idea to ask them something once you have finished answering. It’s a two-way conversation and you are both there for the same reason which is to get to know one another better and find out if you would like to meet again. Make sure you both get a chance to ask and answer questions.

Be prepared for answers you weren’t expecting

If he or she responds to a question with something that throws you way off track then you may need to prepare yourself for this. Maybe they have never travelled anywhere because they are terrified of flying or they simply can’t afford to take as many holidays as you or perhaps they aren’t quite so sure about something that you are really interested in. It is all part of the process of getting to know one another so even if it catches you off guard be careful how you respond as this can say a lot about you.

Don’t stick to a script of questions

Once you have all your questions worked out it can be tempting to try and stay on the list that you mentally prepared even if that means going off the topic. If you ask one scripted question after another the conversation is not going to flow so see how it goes as one answer may lead to another question that you hadn’t thought of. While you have things you want to know, it is also just as important to make sure that the conversation is natural and if you are getting along well then just enjoy it.

The objective of the first date is to enjoy it and to find out more about each other. Questions are an excellent way to do this so have some things in mind that you want to know the answer to, bear in mind how you ask and how you respond to the answers and be prepared for the conversation to go in all different directions. As long as the conversation is flowing and you are both having fun then you are exactly where you should be. There is always the chance to find out more about each on the next date.

Find out 15 questions that will turn an awkward first date into an amazing one!