Reasons She Doesn’t Want to Have Sex

woman doesn't want to sex

Many people find themselves scouring the internet for answers when the wife or girlfriend that was once so enthusiastic in the bedroom no longer wants to have sex. Women can be turned off sex for a number of reasons, and her refusal to get intimate may have nothing to do with how attractive she finds you. In this blog, we will look at some of the most common reasons for women not wanting to have sex and what you can do about it.

Why doesn’t my girlfriend want to sleep with me anymore?

Some men start to worry when they don’t have sex with their partners for a few days, whilst it can take weeks or months for others to understand something has gone wrong in their relationships. It is important for a lot of women be in the right emotional state for sex, whereas many men are happy to go ahead even when they are feeling depressed, anxious or stressed. Stress is one of the main reasons for women withholding sex – your partner could be struggling to forget about money problems, their workload or family-related issues. If there is a lot of drama in your partner’s life, this may well be the reason why she is struggling to become sexually aroused. Men that identify stress as a reason for things going stale in the bedroom can work with their partner to help them reduce the pressures of day-to-day life.

Does she want me sexually? If not, why not?

Some women decide to withhold sex because they feel taken for granted. When was the last time you did something special for your partner? Have you bought her flowers, taken her out for a meal or spent any sort of quality time with her recently? If not, this may well be the reason why you haven’t been very active in the bedroom of late. Many men make a great deal of effort to impress their new partners in the early stages of a relationship, but it’s easy to see how things can become stale once you are living together and the honeymoon period is well and truly over. If you haven’t been putting any real effort to bring the spark back to your relationship recently, this may well the reason why your sexual activity levels have decreased. If you have fallen into a routine or become stuck in a rut, consider taking action as soon as you can to make things fun again. You may need to take steps to earn intimacy.

Improve communication

Bad communication is also another reason for the spark dying out in the bedroom. If one or both of you are very busy at work, you may not be communicating with each other as much as you previously were, and this can leave your partner feeling disconnected from you. Even if you do have sex, it may not feel as magical or special as it once did. When sex starts to feel like a chore, it’s easy to see how things can head into decline. Have you been talking to your partner much recently? Do you really know what’s going on in her life and in her head? If not, it’s time to start taking more of an interest in her life and how she is coping emotionally?

How to get your girlfriend to want you sexually again

Perhaps your performance in bed is not up to scratch? This can be a tough thing for many men to admit, but if you are or have become selfish in the bedroom, consider changing your approach to focus on pleasuring her. Make sure you are partaking in sufficient amounts of foreplay and work hard to ensure she is satisfied, even waiting until she has climaxed before you allow yourself to peak. Ask her if there is anything she would change about your technique, and consider using sex aids if you do need to spice things up. If you are not giving her the sex that she actually wants, she may decide to stop sleeping with you altogether. Even if you don’t like the feedback that you receive, this may be the first step towards making your sex life fun again.

Switch things up during sex

Do you do things the same way every time in the bedroom? If so, it’s easy to see how your woman may become disillusioned about the prospect of having sex with you. You may need to try out different positions or move things out of the bedroom. Popular alternative places to have sex include the lounge, hotels, on the beach, in the car, kitchen or bathroom. Variety is the key to a healthy sex life.

What makes women want sex?

Many women require emotional intimacy to have sex, and some have sexual intercourse for different reasons than men. Experts suggest that many women need to feel emotionally connected to the other person to enjoy sex with them, whereas this tends to be not such a big issue for men. A lot of men are primarily driven by visual stimulation, whereas many women are more turned on by feeling desired. If your woman starts to initiate intimacy more often, this is a sign that things are going well and that your sexual performance and behaviour are of a good standard. When your lady starts to want more sex, this means you are doing things right in and out of the bedroom. If she feels more relaxed after sex, you can take this as a sign that you are getting it right. Women are also more likely to desire sex when you have reached a particular stage in a relationship – when they have developed feelings of trust for you. However, if you start to take things for granted and your efforts start to slip, there’s a big chance she won’t be as enthusiastic about getting close to you.

Create the right mood

It’s also important to make sure the atmosphere is right for sex if you are keen to get intimate. You should try to remove as much stress as possible from your environment and make things as comfortable as possible for her. Try to avoid talking about negative topics and work hard to get the mood just right if you want to reignite the spark between you.

Cheating and sex

Your partner’s sex drive may also head into decline if she suspects you are cheating on her, or if she has already discovered that you have been unfaithful. Not all women choose to ditch their men after learning they have been unfaithful, but it may take a great deal of time to win back her trust. Many men suspect their partners have lost interest in them because their needs are being satisfied by someone else. If you do suspect this is the case, don’t throw out wild accusations without significant evidence as there is always a big chance there is another reason for their sexual reluctance. It could be anything from stress and work pressures to depression or the magic disappearing from the relationship. Again, communication is key, so if you suspect there is something on your partner’s mind, try to talk to her about it rather than jumping to conclusions.

Tiredness and family life

Don’t panic just because your partner starts saying ‘no’ when you previously enjoyed a vibrant sex life. Many couples are more sexually active in the earliest stages of a relationship, and it’s all too easy for real life to get in the way further down the line. Tiredness can be a big cause of sexual inactivity within relationships, and once you start a family together your opportunities for sex can decline dramatically. Many women don’t feel as ‘sexy’ as they once did once they have had children, and even when they do, tiredness can kill off their sexual desire levels. You may have to wait a considerable period of time for things to get back to how they were once you welcome children into the family. If your girlfriend or wife doesn’t feel as sexy as she used to, you will need to reassure her that you still find her attractive, and offset any negative comments she makes about her body with positive ones. Raising children can be very exhausting, and it’s not just ladies that can feel tired after a long day entertaining or providing for their offspring.

Don’t stray – keep the faith

The sex drive of a woman tends to decline over the course of a long-term relationship, whereas things stay pretty much the same for many men. Don’t go elsewhere to fulfill your sexual needs whilst still in a relationship as this will almost certainly backfire, causing a great deal of pain and regret. Learn the art of patience and continue to reassure her that she is doing a great job as your partner and as a mother if you have brought children into the world. Cheating can also cause you to lose someone that you love dearly forever just for the sake of a few hours’ pleasure.


Do not panic if you suddenly are faced with no sex in a relationship. There could be many reasons for this. Women want to know that you are genuinely interested in caring for them and not simply motivated by sexual desire. If you haven’t been putting enough effort into the relationship recently, this may well be the cause, but there are also many other reasons why your wife or girlfriend doesn’t want sex. Whatever you do, make sure you are giving her all the support and care that she needs, and work hard to keep things fresh in your relationship.

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