How Do You Deal with a Hot and Cold Guy?
Get the Hot & Cold Guy to Be Addicted to You
Are you in love with the guy who throws hot and cold tantrums at you? Well, it is time to step up your game and make this guy think about you all the time. When you chase a guy, they presume you to be desperate and give you the cold shoulder. We have come up with numerous plans to make him run amok just to please you. Let’s take a look at some details!
Who is the Hot & Cold Guy?
We all want a little adventure in our relationships. In search of such, you might find yourself getting attracted to a hot and cold guy. Who is that? Well, such an individual is someone who seems great at one point. And other times, it seems like he has nothing to do with you. He is the kind of guy who will be totally into you once while being detached. You just never know what his mood is going to be when he wakes up. Isn’t it frustrating?
When you are dating such a person, you get into a hot and cold relationship too. The person can suffer from some weird sequencing (the attitude can be extremely wonky at times). If you are dating such a guy, the first and foremost step is to understand them. Here are a few points about a hot and cold guy:
- Unstable — guys usually possess unstable emotions or are traumatized, experiencing fears and waves of emotions like never before. Well, we are all trying to survive at this point. But a hot and cold guy might sometimes send you huge lovely messages and other times just reply with ‘Ok’ or ‘hmm’ or remain silent. Also, such guys might come home one day and appreciate you like you are a princess. Another day, they might not even say anything and pretend to be tired.
- Scared — one of the major reasons he is hot and cold is because he is trying to slow down things. Maybe he is scared that this relationship might fail if it goes on at the same pace. He is basing things on his previous relationships.
- Mistake — sometimes guys want to withdraw from the relationship because they are not in love with you. At first, they didn’t realize it. But after a few dates, they realized it was a mistake. That might be a reason for giving you hot and cold vibes.
- Not over ex — some guys rush into the relationship to prove to the world that they are over their previous relationship. Moving on is never easy, and having a new relationship seems easy. But when they do that, they realize their mistake. To back out from this, they act hot and cold.
Why is He So Hot & Cold with Texting?
The greatest sign of a hot and cold guy will be their texting style. Texting is not a forte for any guy out there. But for these guys, they keep changing their styles like mood swings.
Sometimes, you get amazing messages like a sweet ‘good morning’ or a lovely ‘good night’ message. Other times, you won’t get even a reply. He might see your message and ignore it or just reply to a letter. Let us have a look at some reasons behind his weird texting:
- They are probably annoyed by your list of messages: when you send 10-15 messages at once, they feel irritated and don’t feel like responding.
- Tip: Here is a great rule to keep in mind; try to send the same amount of messages he sent you back. If he wrote 5 messages, answer him back with five messages back. If you keep your messaging with such a guy minimal, it could bring cold vibes. Just reply to their questions if necessary.
- Some guys are just not the texting type andб, therefore, do not know how to handle texts. Usually, most replies from such guys are unpredictable.
- Tip: It is better to clear out with him whether he likes texting or calling. If he doesn’t like texting, call him whenever it is necessary. Text him only when you cannot call him. Also, don’t call him too many times.
- They might blow hot and cold only when they need something from you. Most guys with such a personality could have a plan. For example, they might sound warm and nice when they want only sex from you. At other times, they might ignore your message.
- Tip: Try to communicate a lot to figure out real intentions. Never respond to their hot side if you want a serious relationship. If you succumb to their sweet messages, it means you become vulnerable to their charm.
- They don’t want to commit and make your relationship official. There might be many reasons behind that. One of them is he doesn’t want to give up his playboy status.
- Tip: You have to show your self-worth. You can simply call off the relationship. If they are afraid to show you to the world, he still wants to be with other women. You may try to know the truth, but it is doubtful; he will confide in you.
How to Deal with a Hot and Cold Guy?
Understandably, putting up with all that drama is exhausting and frustrating. But there is a way you can deal with such guys. All you need to do is give them a taste of their own game in a subtle manner. Being charming, playing games, and not committing to a relationship are ways you can deal with him.
Another simpler way is to just back out from all the games before it becomes someone’s heart breaks in all this mess. We have some more awesome ways to handle a hot and cold guy:
- Take a break — you have invested enough time and emotions into this guy who seems to take it all in but never shows gratitude. In such a case, you should stop everything you do for him and take time for yourself. Pour yourself into work or engage in a hobby. Do something that truly makes you happy.
- Refrain from jealousy — every time you ask him, he will say, ‘She is just a friend’. You truly should not care about him or other girls as he would probably not understand your feelings and start caring about your emotions.
- Stay positive — sometimes, childhood has a huge impact on how a guy acts in a relationship. In some hot and cold cases, you might not be the reason at all. You may just tell them that they can come and talk to you about anything. It doesn’t have to be right now, but you will be there for them whenever ready.
- Enough is enough — when you have made enough efforts to understand him and have a meaningful conversation, it is time to leave this toxic relationship. If you know what is going on, you can simply try to talk to them and see if he is opening up to you. Otherwise, it is time for you to be happy instead of making someone else happy.
Getting Him to Chase You
Do you feel like you are desperate for him? Well, it is time to turn the tables. Predictable and naive are the characteristics that are your enemy. We will share some tips to make him chase you:
- Play hard to get. Even if you like him like crazy, never admit it to him or anyone. Dress stylishly and be confident. Be involved in lots of activities.
- Remain busy with work or hobbies. It is always better to distract yourself with work or friends. That will give him an idea that you are not waiting for him.
- Go out with your male friends. Laugh with them and hang out around him. Show him that he has got competition. He must fight for you.
- Do not text or call without reason. If something important to be conveyed to him, make sure it reaches him by another friend.
- Never respond immediately to his messages unless it is super-important. When you play hard to get, you are a challenge that they must conquer. Don’t let them win.
Attracting a Man that Ignores You
Are you in for some challenge? If you don’t exist in his world and want to get his attention, it is time to step up your game. Don’t seek attention like a drama queen. Be sophisticated and gain attention to positive things around you.
If you are not the dressing up type, you need a wardrobe change. Wear amazing dresses and maintain yourself. Unfortunately, the world runs on looks. Once you have attracted men based on your looks, it is time to ignore them.
Always surround yourself with friends. If you catch him looking at you, pass a simple smile, and move along. Talk to your friends and laugh with them while completely ignoring him. Take up activities that revolve around him.
Make sure that you are doing something good like academic excellence or are investing in your talent. That way, you can do what you like and get your attention positively.
You Are Worth Much More
The best thing that can be done with such hot and cold guys is thinking about yourself first. Yes, it sounds selfish, but that is what they have been doing too. All they care about is themselves. When you care about them, they like you. But when you want the same in return, they ignore you.
You are worth much more than anyone’s gratitude or attitude for that matter. You can use your time much more efficiently than thinking about what his mood will be like today. The challenge sure provides a good adrenaline rush, but there is a point when all this feels exhausting and worthless.
You will surely find a guy who is worth the time you invest in him. He will be straightforward and understanding. That is the time you will feel happy. Whether you win or lose, you are losing a lot of time trying to get his attention.
Real-Life Example
Jackie Pilossoph from Chicago Tribune posted about her relationship with a hot and cold guy. The guy acted very romantic on the first date but didn’t talk about it for weeks. Just when she was trying to move on, he hit her with a second super-sweet and lavish date. Here she tried confronting him about his hot and cold behavior. His response was the same: his previous relationship ended badly, and he wanted to take things slow.
She thought she was helping him and changing him, but none of that as true. For the third date, they went to a party where they acted distant like friends. She again demanded an explanation that he shrugged off as it was a joke. He was simply not ready to commit to her in public and still carried his charm to other women. She had enough of him and broke up.
It took her three dates to realize that she wants someone who keeps her at seventh heaven. Not someone who brings you and thrashes your hopes and dreams like this hot and cold guy.
We have great news for you, and you can find matches by interest. If you are ready to start meeting nice guys who share similar goals, join Flirt.com tonight!