Unconditional Love: How You Know You’ve Found it

Love is a multi-faceted feeling and can be applied to many situations throughout your life. The love your feel for your family, the romantic love between two people and your love for your closest friends. There are many ways in which we love the people in our lives but what of unconditional love? Many assume it is only possible for parents to love unconditionally when it comes to their children, but is that always the case? Yes, unconditional love for a child is stronger than any romantic love that tries to reach that goal, but there are times when people have found the perfect partner and couldn’t stop loving them if they tried.

What is Unconditional Love?

The Greeks had multiple terms for the various forms of love which were; Eros, Phillia, Storge and Agape. Eros is typically the term we associate with as it is the intimate form between two people. Agape is the closest thing to the definition of unconditional love and is usually reserved to the relationship between God and his creation, and between parents and their children. However, it has and can be used often to define the relationship between spouses/partners.

Agape encapsulates the love of charity; our willingness to selflessly seek the happiness of someone else before ourselves. Our willingness to forgive and to love someone despite their faults and misgivings. Loving someone unconditionally means acting with complete charity towards the other person and to care for them even in their darkest moments. It is a love so strong that nothing should be able to break its bond.

How to Know When You Love Someone Unconditionally

Although it is uncommon for spouses or partners to love one another unconditionally it does happen, and many people live together selflessly and act with charity to each other. Most of the time it doesn’t need to be said; you just know that the person you’re with is perfect for you and that no matter what happens you’ll always love them. However, it needs to viewed as a set of behaviours you want to achieve, not a feeling that some can attain and others can’t. Some of the ways unconditional love is expressed by spouses includes:

Forgive One Another

When you love your partner unconditionally you forgive them when they ask for forgiveness and when they’re truly repentant of what they have done. Consequently, you don’t hold what they’ve done against them or set terms to make them feel embarrassed about their actions. Once again, unconditional love requires you to be immensely charitable, so to forgive your partner without holding it against them shows that your love is unconditional.

Truthful

You can be honest with your partner even if it is incredibly hard to do as you know you can’t hide anything from them. Your respect for your partner is so great that you must be honest as lying or misleading them would feel like deceiving yourself. You can be truthful about your emotions, intentions and actions without hiding facts from them as you love them unequivocally.

Selflessness

Everything you do, you do it for your partner. You’re prepared to put their wellbeing and their needs before your own on every occasion. Their happiness makes you happy, so you always want to ensure that they’re comfortable and well – both mentally and physically – while requiring nothing from them in return. To commit yourself to them and to humbly love that person shows that your love is strong and unbreakable.

Respect

Even when you disagree or have moments when you’re not on the best of terms, you still respect one another. You listen to what they say – actually listen too – and hold their opinions in high regard as you admire the person they are. As you respect them, you try to understand their viewpoint and listen intently, so that you can better understand the person you love so dearly.

Value Your Communication

When you talk to one another you’re not just passing the time of day or waiting for someone more interesting to show-up as you respect that person and are engaged with their opinions and thoughts. You want to constantly work on your relationship and understand one another which is why you can communicate effectively, so that you can work on your issues efficiently.

They’re the first person you think of when you have news and the person you want to share everything with, no matter how mundane it may be.

How to Love Unconditionally?

Loving someone unconditionally requires a great deal of sacrifice – both mentally and physically – and requires you to fully commit to your partner. You need to be able to sacrifice your own pride, so that you can work on your relationship without any obstacles and make your way to unconditionally loving your partner. Obviously, you can’t decide who you can fall unconditionally in love with, some people it just works and others it doesn’t, but you can make steps to creating a more wholesome and genuine relationship by thinking as though you already loved your partner unconditionally.

For example, if your partner has done something wrong and you decided to forgive them, then don’t bring it up at every argument you have. Let that be the past and start working towards your future. Furthermore, start fully engaging with them in conversation, listen to what they’re saying and try to understand their point of view. Beginning to understand your partner in a meaningful way will help you towards solidifying your relationship and creating a strong bond between the two of you.

Like any relationship, you need to be willing to work at it and continue to be by your partner’s side even in trying times. You will never get to a secure point in your relationship if you’re not willing to work on your issues and become a better person. Love is all about sacrifice and the more you’re willing to do for your partner, the stronger you will grow together.

Finding love is never easy but the true test is whether you can make a relationship work long term. To be able to truly sacrifice your own vanity and ego shows that you love your partner in a meaningful way and want to do everything in your power to make them happy. Love is not one way, however, and it requires your partner to feel the same way, to act accordingly and put your relationship first above everything else. True love is about charity, about giving yourself solely to the other person, so if you want to set yourself on the path to unconditional love, then start by fully committing yourself to your partner.