Why You May Want to Start Dating Outside of Your Comfort Zone

happy couple outdoor

According to Albert Einstein: “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

If this is the case, why is it so many people continue repeating the same habits that only produce lackluster effects? Let’s take dating for example. Most of us have a particular “type” that we are drawn to when we are choosing our partners. Some like rebels, some like nerds, some like rich folk while others like people who are more down to earth.

There is a whole slew of different types of people out there, so why would you pigeon yourself into a corner?

If you continue doing what you’re doing, you can pretty much be certain that you will get the same results as Einstein poignantly pointed out. For most of us, we approach the world of dating by seeking people who have similar values, a similar background, and maybe even similar goals. In theory, it makes sense, right? But, we (women in particular) tend to have their perceptions skewed because we grow up with the idea of some knight in shining armor will come in and sweep her off her feet on the back of a gallant white horse.

When you decide to finally break out of that pattern of dating a particular type of person, you are opening yourself up to a completely different world. You are able to learn more about yourself than you could ever imagine. Who knows, maybe by broadening your horizons, you are changing your life for the better.

Let’s take a look at one of our members. She met a new guy after she had a series of disappointing relationships. She likes the guy, but she isn’t so keen on the fact that he is an artist and his work is very unstable. She’s always dated men whose jobs were predictable, steady, maybe even a bit boring. So, of course, she is going to be hesitant about dating a man whose job is here one day and it could be months before he has another client. That is just very unsettling for her.

But, if you are ready to take that leap, let’s explore the steps you may want to take when you are deciding to date outside of your norm and live on the wild side (okay, maybe not that wild)!

1. Take it slow.

Now we all have certain things appearance wise that we are more drawn to. For example, you know how it is a common belief that men prefer blondes, women prefer tall men, and who knows what else in between. Instead of changing your preference from dating a free-spirited artist to a button-down business exec is a big change, start off small. Instead of dating a blonde, try a fiery redhead. Instead of going for the tallest man in the room, approach a guy whose eyes you can stare into without the need of six in heels. You never know, you may find that these simple things could make the world of difference of how you date.

2. Have fun.

Going on a date with anyone, you should never over-think things. You aren’t looking to tear the person apart mentally the moment you met them. The purpose of a first date is to get to know one another, enjoy each other’s company and see if there is a connection. That’s it!

3. Change something about yourself.

Have you ever noticed that it is a little easier to accept someone’s differences when you are working on yourself? For example, perhaps you always wear heels because you feel a little more sophisticated. However, when you try wearing flats, you may be more comfortable and a little less uptight.

4. Stop the cycle of self-pity.

We understand that life can get you down from time to time, but that doesn’t mean you have to be in a constant spiral of self-pity and woe is me. No one really wants to get close to someone who’s always got this doom and gloom cloud about them. It’s not easy to get to know them, it isn’t fun to try and break down the walls, it’s… Just not fun. If you can’t bring yourself out of the sad state you’re in, perhaps you should fake it or reconsider if dating is something you should be doing at this current time.