What 80/20 Secret You Must Know to Make Your Relationship Happier

If you’re new to the concept of the 80/20 rule for a relationship, let us explain it to you really quick. Basically, it means that in any healthy relationship, you’re only going to get 80% of what you want. This means that your partner is an amazing cook and has a great sense of humor, but maybe they don’t have the same passion for the outdoors as you do.

Sadly, the other part of that equation suggests that we are always searching for that missing 20%. That is primarily one of the reasons why people cheat. They feel like that 80% isn’t enough and they are searching for someone who fulfills that 20%, not realizing that they are ruining a good thing in the process.

But… Why? Why do we feel like that 80% isn’t good enough? It turns out that it’s our own internal struggles that make us question our relationship. It doesn’t have anything to do with our partner.

Granted, many of us would debate this until we are blue in the face, but when you take a step back and look at things objectively, we understand that we are the problem.

So, how can you turn the 80/20 rule upside down and make it work for you?

Well, 80% of the problems we have with other people, namely our partners, is our own problems. That missing 20% is legitimate problems in the relationship. The catch to that rule when you’re working on your relationship is to get that ever-so-desired 20%.
How do you do that? Simple. Work on yourself first.

When we work to create a healthier relationship, we are more aware of what we need and want, then we can decide what is truly important to us and what isn’t. We are less likely to waste our time on someone who is less than worthy of our time. We surround ourselves with folks who have similar core values as us, and we can nurture that connection.

Always remember that 80% of our difficulty with others stems from our own experiences. This means those experiences you had when a kid can have an effect on you now.

Look at your expectations and stories about a situation and think to yourself what is making you react that way. Some of our greatest challenges in a relationship come from the fact that many people want to be in a relationship to receive something out of it. They’re trying to find someone who can bring something to the table.

It’s important that when you enter a new relationship that you already like yourself. You have to feel complete and content with yourself before going forward. Otherwise, you may be chasing new relationships searching for that something extra that makes you feel great all the time. This is why it’s crucial that we understand how our past experiences can shape the type of relationship we want.