Differences Between Mature and Immature Relationships

two different couples

We live in an age where more and more people are incredibly narcissistic and cannot begin to fathom how to put somebody else first. There is an inherent lack of responsibility on both male and female counterparts and many people don’t take the necessary steps to solve these issues within their relationship. We discuss the fundamental differences between immature and mature relationships and how you can begin to make steps into integrating humble and wholesome values into your relationship.

Mature and Immature Love

A mature and immature relationship are profoundly different from one another and are in fact complete opposites. Where mature love is founded based on communication and responsibility, immature love rests on the principles of all-consuming passion – the kind that is not conducive to securing a stable relationship – and being able to place blame on the other person.

Think of an immature relationship as a child; a being who cannot think in complete logical patterns, can only see the world through their perspective and can be incredibly judgemental of actions that don’t adhere to their worldview. Most individuals grow out of emotional childishness but many people – especially within recent generations – haven’t had to experience true responsibility, so have never progressed out of this immaturity. Within a relationship you need to depend on the other person and if they’re stuck in the childish frame of mind you’ll never be able to rely on them.

Consequently, a mature relationship is like an adult – an ideal functioning and responsible adult at least; they can think clearly and understand what they need to do, can communicate values and ideas coherently, and can view the world and other’s perspectives in a forgiving light.

Signs of Immaturity in a Relationship

Perhaps it is all well and good discussing the general principle surrounding mature love vs immature love, but you may be wondering how that translates precisely to a relationship.

There are a variety of immature relationship signs that could indicate you’re not in a healthy and stable relationship; some of these key signs are:

Can’t Discuss Matters That Make You/Them Uncomfortable. By brushing off or completely ignoring issues within your relationship because they make you uncomfortable is a guaranteed sign that you’re in an immature relationship. Relationships are about teamwork and communication, so if you’re unable to discuss difficult issues you’re never being completely honest and therefore cannot communicate or work effectively with your partner.

They/You Can’t Take Blame for Mistakes. If you’re constantly receiving and/or giving excuses surrounding your behavior, then you’re acting childishly within your relationship. Immature people cannot admit that they have done something wrong, so will constantly blame it on other people or will try to excuse their behavior as it never being wrong in the first place. Mature people can face-up to their faults and misgivings without shying away from no matter how difficult that may be.

Purposefully Aggravate the Other Person. When we’re mentioning purposefully frustrating the other person within your relationship we’re not talking about little things you do that they pretend to be angry about but find funny. Instead, we’re mentioning intentional behavior that is constantly used to make you feel genuinely angry. When someone does this it means they cannot confront their emotions in a healthy manner and turn to childish behavior as a way of deflecting their issues.

There are many more signs that you could be in an immature relationship, but everybody is different, and some may experience certain signs and not others. Instead of looking for absolutes, ask yourself whether you feel healthy and happy within your relationship; whether you feel comfortable with your partner, humbled by their presence and are genuine with them. Only you can answer whether your relationship is truly mature or immature.

How to Become More Mature in a Relationship

Like sticking to a diet or changing your lifestyle, committing to becoming more mature within a relationship takes discipline and courage. Becoming more mature is something you must work on every day and understand your missteps when you make them. The path to becoming more entuned and mature within a relationship is difficult and it will be challenging, but anything of note in life is arduous. You can start by consistently:

Maintaining Your Individuality. Don’t neglect your hobbies or interests for the sake of your partner, you should feel confident enough with them that even if you’re not spending every second of each day doing the same things together that you still feel comfortable. Enjoy your spare time and don’t try to retract any of theirs from them.

Communicate Clearly About Your Values. A fantastic way to stay on the same page and understand your partner more is to discuss your values on a regular basis. From ideals within the family to your career path there are plenty of things that affect the both of you. Finding compromises and overlaps in values will help you shape your life together more effectively.

Admit When You’re Wrong and Be Forgiving. This is one of the hardest aspects as nobody likes to admit they’re wrong, however, it is an essential part of entering a mature relationship. You’re not always going to be right and if you care about your partner you’ll ask for their pardon. Furthermore, it means you need to be forgiving when they’re wrong and genuinely mean it instead of mentioning it every time you have an argument.

Relationships are always going to be tricky and acting in a mature and humble manner is harder for some. However, if you want to genuinely be honest and committed to a relationship you must put your own ego behind and start thinking before you act.

Relationships are nuanced and delicate things, meaning you have to tend to them every day if you want to maintain it.