Calling all Introverts: Learn How to Flirt Effectively!

couple on a date

Looking at your extroverted friends, they make flirting look like it is second nature. And if you’re an introvert and you try to emulate your friends you either feel foolish or the flirting comes off as being forced or completely wrong.

News flash dear introverts, you cannot employ the same flirting techniques as your extroverted friends because you simply do not view social interactions the same way. Here are some ways that you can become a master of flirting, even if you are an introvert.

Tip 1 — Try Online Dating

What is the appeal about online dating? Well, given the fact that you are an introvert and your energy tends to get drained rather quickly when dealing with social situations, by going online, you have the opportunity to meet people on your own time. You don’t have to deal with awkward small talk and if you don’t want to answer someone right away, you don’t have to. Plus, online dating allows you to learn things about people (hobbies, profession, religious views) before you even talk to them. This eliminates the obligatory idle chit-chat when you just meet someone.

Tip 2 — Volunteer

As an introvert, chances are you do not care for the bar scene. Because of this, you may be wondering how you are supposed to meet people. By volunteering your time, not only are you giving back to your community, but you are also surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals. Since these people are bound to share the same views on certain things, you have the perfect opportunity to hold a conversation with them that could move onto other areas of conversation.

Tip 3 — Gifting

So let’s say you’ve met someone that you are interested in and you want to flirt with them with the hopes to sweep them off your feet. One of the simplest ways to impress them and start flirting is by giving them a small gift. This doesn’t mean anything extravagant like jewelry or a country club membership. A simple gift means a small trinket like something that reminds you of them or maybe a bouquet of flowers. The person you are flirting with will appreciate the gesture and make you stand out more in their mind.

Tip 4 — Notice the Small Things

As an introvert, you have this uncanny knack for honing in on a person’s feelings as well as notice changes they make to themselves. You can use this skill to your advantage! Why, if they are feeling down and out, you can come to the rescue and cheer them up. If they bought a new shirt or they are wearing their hair differently, you can comment on it (good comments only!). You can be sure that they will appreciate that you took the time out to compliment them, much less that you even noticed the change.

Tip 5 — Share Your Feelings

Okay, this may be a little more difficult for guys, as sharing your feelings isn’t really a manly thing to do. However, we can assure you that when you are interested in someone and you want to get closer to them, your best bet is to tell them! Don’t keep your feelings a secret. How else are they going to know that you like them unless you say so? Just keep in mind that when you are telling someone how you feel, it all depends on your wording. You don’t want to tell someone that you love them if you aren’t in a relationship or you haven’t been talking to them for a while.

Tip 6 — Have An Extrovert Play Wingman

If there is anyone that can get the party going is an extrovert. When you have an extrovert on your side, you will be able to get into more events (who can deny someone who is flirty and bubbly with all the right people?). This will give you the confidence to amp up your game and come out of your comfort zone when you feel ready.

Tip 7 — Don’t Pretend to Be Something You’re Not

We get it. While you are out, you may feel like you have to have your game face on all the time and always ready to party. This isn’t the case. When you are going out on a date with someone, try being honest and tell them up front that you’re an introvert and you prefer to go to low key places. Let your date know that you are not a miserable person and that you much prefer to spend time alone with them rather than in the midst of a party.

Tip 8 — Don’t Be Afraid of the Friend-Zone

Sometimes the best lovers start off as friends. This is especially true for introverts who are trying to create a relationship that is worth having. Sure you may feel like you need to dive right into a relationship with whomever you’re talking to, but the truth of the matter is you don’t have to! You can focus on being friends first and if things should evolve into something more — great!

Tip 9 — Plan a Fun First Date

Instead of wracking your brain of trying to think of first date conversation, break the tension by planning a fun first date. There is nothing more devastating to a first date than it being boring and there is no flow of conversation. Instead of planning the typical dinner and a movie, plan an activity as your first date. For example, if you both enjoy wine, go on a trip to a vineyard. There you will be able to explore the winery and sample some delicious wines. If you both have a penchant for art, go to a painting class and get in touch with your creative side.