Online Dating Fears and How to Address Them


Online dating is now one of the most popular ways to meet new people. It offers convenience, it is quick and it helps you to find the perfect match before having to meet them in person. However, despite the ease and fun of online dating, many still feel that they are exposing themselves to people they do not know while also putting them at risk of meeting people they do not trust. In reality, online dating is extremely safe and is just as much fun as traditional dating when you choose the right dating site. So, how do you deal with your fears of online dating?

Build your confidence

If you have a fear of online dating for reasons such as worrying that people will judge you for using a dating site, then look at the numbers. There is now a huge percentage of people using online dating to find a date. Many of these believe that it is the best way to meet a partner and so, to deal with your concerns, tell yourself that online dating has no stigma attached to it while reminding yourself that is now a common way to find the right person. In fact, when you think about the chances of finding someone who is right for you, you will soon realise that it outweighs any potential risk.

Understand why you are valuable

If confidence is one of the reasons why you have a fear of online dating then think about what makes you a good persona and what makes you valuable to others. Think about your life, your hobbies and your appearance. Create a list that is accessible so that you can revert to it when you need it. Of course, getting the list started can prove tricky and perhaps to begin, consider what others would say is your best quality and then move this around to different people in your life. Over time, you will have a list of worthwhile qualities.
Think about the good things in your life such as holding down a job, socializing and the people you have around you. Then when you are feeling like you cannot face online dating or need a boost, you can scan over your list to help you feel positive once again.

Ignore rejection

Nobody appreciates being rejected but it is part of online dating and happens to be one of the biggest fears. However, if you fail to hear back from someone you were into or if someone says they are not interested in you then do not let the rejection get the better of you. Any form of rejection in the world of online dating can be dealt with by putting yourself back out there and meeting new people.

Deal with it, once someone has stopped talking to you, do not make any further contact with them. It won’t make you feel any better about yourself and it could lead to you being suspended or banned. Simply think about finding someone else! In fact, if you are not what that person is looking for then the chances are you are better off without them in first place. Always believe that you can do better than the person who never got back to you and stopped communicating in an instance. So, when rejection touches you, get past it by reaching out to someone else. Send out a message and find a new connection with someone who could be even better than the person who did not reply to you.

Dealing with your emotions

If you have a fear, accept it

It is important to understand that there is no problem at all with having a fear about online dating. It is no different to having any kind of apprehension about traditional dating. However, your challenge is to not only remove that fear but understand it, accept it and then deal with it.

When you think about the emotions you experience, make a list of what makes you scared of online dating. Once you have that list, think of worst-case scenarios that are linked to each reason. If a reason is a rejection, then your worst-case scenario might be the fact that someone simply says they do not like you. For each scenario, it is important that you understand a way to deal with it. Therefore, when that time arrives, you will have a ready-made plan to brush the issue aside and conquer your fear.

Create Goals

There are many emotions involved in dating. In order to prevent yourself from being scooped up by something emotional think about what you really want from online dating and try to set goals. You could be looking for something serious or maybe something casual. Whatever it might be, these goals can create a guideline from which you work. So, if you meet someone who seems like they are the ideal person and they want a serious relationship while you are looking for something casual, don’t be afraid to stick to your goals and move on to someone who wants the same as you.

These goals are there to provide you with some kind of guidance but do not make them too rigid. Look to avoid the kind of goals that put pressure on you such as finding the perfect person in a set timeframe but if something feels natural and organic then feel free to move your goals.

Look after yourself

If you feel good about yourself then you are more than likely going to feel good about being involved with someone else. Therefore, look after yourself daily and do whatever it takes, within reason, to make you feel good. If exercise works, then exercise and if yoga does the trick then so be it. Give yourself a time each day where you can spend time doing things that mean something to you. Cook, visit friends, watch a film or read, whatever it may be, make it work for you.

Online Dating is a great dating tool

The great thing about online dating is that it can put you in touch with so many different people. Yes, it can be daunting and yes, it is natural to have a fear but combating those fears takes time, planning and understanding. Once you have everything in check you will instantly benefit from the experience that online dating has to offer. Oh, and you might just find the perfect relationship!