The Psychology Behind Tinder and Why People Prefer Dating Sites

phone with dating app at the skreen

Have you ever sat there and spent time looking for potential dates on Tinder? Do you see it as a bit of fun, a game that you play with your friends and something that you don’t take very seriously or do you use it just to find a quick hookup with not much consideration for anything else? The trouble with Tinder is that when it comes to finding a mate, a partner, someone you can have something meaningful with, Tinder doesn’t really tick the boxes. We take a look at the psychology behind Tinder and what it has become.

How does Tinder match you?

You sign up to Tinder, you upload a photo, you fill in a few details then you are presented with your matches. Now, for a start, these matches are loosely based on what you might be looking for. Often, they are a list of guys and girls that roughly fit the bill, that live within a 100-mile radius and that are the same or similar age. At first, you have fun swiping those that live close by. Some people may even find people that they recognise or that they have already dated. As you continue to swipe, the matches start to be based on who you are swiping right on as to what you are interested in.

Then the Tinder swiping intensifies

In a bid to find the perfect man or woman you find yourself swiping constantly. You are looking for better, better looking, taller, broader, thinner, blonder… you keep swiping wondering who you will find next. After a while it is easy to lose count of all of those potential dates that you could have had a great time with as you continue to reach swipe fever pitch. Still you keep going and you keep swiping. By the end of it you have forgotten all of those that might have been a match too hasty to take a good luck and dismissing potentially fabulous dates.

It can be disheartening and ruin the experience

The trouble is the psychology of Tinder swiping means that you are saying no to people based on appearances. You are left with the impression that there is no one out there for you because you find yourself still looking for someone that knocks you off your feet from a photo. You mistakenly say no to lots of singles that could have been a great match because you weren’t keen on the photo or you assumed there was better coming with your next swipe. You start to question your own photos, your own profile and what people are thinking when they swipe on you. It is not the greatest confidence builder.

People just don’t have the time to spend on dating

While this is very true and Tinder does fit the bill when it comes to being quick and easy, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it produces results. While it may take longer to find a date with a dating site, we are talking in terms of minutes and not days or weeks. Swiping left and right on pictures is not the way to meet the love of your life. A dating site at least offers you the chance to learn all about a person from a comprehensive dating profile that contains more than just an attractive image. It is all about using your time wisely and making the best use of those few minutes down time when you have time to look for a date.

Don’t judge a book by its cover

Many girls will sit around a tinder screen giggling and swiping on those that are hot and those that are not while guys can superficially sit there waiting for the girls that don’t look too prim or those that don’t look like too much of a handful waiting for that ideal date to pop up. No one bothers to read the profiles or the information available, they are too busy swiping in a ‘hot or not’ quest. This is dating at its most superficial.

Very soon there is no one left to judge

After a serious swiping session, you can quickly find that you have run out of potential dates and that now you are swiping on those that live hundreds of miles away that you ate never likely to meet. At this point, you find that you have other things to do and so you put down your phone and wait for your next session. A completely pointless exercise and for many, an utter waste of time. Dating becomes a demotivating exercise without results.

Dating becomes like gaming

This method of dating loses all meaning especially for those that are looking for more than just a date or a casual hookup. For those that are looking for a partner or a long-term relationship, it is more than a game and so, the process should be treated with more respect and seriousness. You are looking for the love of your life, not choosing a dress for a night out. Judging people by the size of their boobs, how much hair they have, whether they are pale or dark, tanned, have too much make up, too little make up or any other number of superficial is not the way to find a date.

Choose a dating site with more to offer

As Tinder loses its appeal with those who are looking for serious dating, a dating site that is serious about matching people becomes a much more attractive option. You can spend time browsing the personals of people and not just judging them by their photos. You can discover people nearby that are into the same things and that are seeking the same and that are serious about their dating experience.

The choice really is whether you are looking at dating as a bit of a game and you aren’t really serious about meeting anyone or if you want to find the love of your life or someone you can have some fun with. If you are just playing around then Tinder may well be the place for you to find what you are looking for but for those that are serious about dating, a dating site has so much more to offer.