After Joining a Dating Site, Just Maybe Things Will Change
Clara had a few days off from work and as a bored single woman, she decided to try online dating. She scoured the list of online dating sites (she was amazed just by how many were available!) and settled on one site. Upon going through the motions of signing up, crafting an alluring profile, and choosing the perfect picture, she started her search.
As she scrolled through the seemingly endless line of possible suitors, she became entranced with the process.
Look at the picture. Click the profile. Read the profile. Decide to message the person or go on.
Rinse and repeat.
She came across a slew of odd taglines:
“I value my independence, but I always enjoy the company that only a particular type of woman can provide.”
“Living my dream of being a call center slacker, but I’d really like someone to go home to other than a bleak apartment and a bottle of gin.”
Clara quickly learned that there is a rule of online dating called a “kind lie” and it is generally used in response to an unwanted approach and it often is something like, “I’ve started seeing someone and I’m only here checking my messages. I’m sorry, but thank you, I’m very flattered. I wish you luck!”
She reveals that she started using the kind lie when men contacted her when she wasn’t interested in them. She shares one example where a guy sent her a very detailed message outlining his ideal woman, all the way down to her toenails (which had to be short, painted red, and she must be willing to get a weekly pedicure).
She told him that she was flattered, but she didn’t think they were compatible and wished him the best.
One evening, she comes across a profile of a handsome man who is merely 10 miles away from her. She read through his profile, naturally, and found herself getting excited until he said he enjoys helping in the kitchen but refuses to host dinner parties and will never, ever enjoy baking at home.
Weeks press on and countless men message her who she has no desire to communicate with: one man is a boring intellectual who seems to know just what to say but lacks conviction, a slew of cookie-cutter men who use phrases that indicate he has no creativity or personality, and others that have crazy demands or blatantly say they are looking for a hookup and nothing more.
After deciding she simply wasn’t having any luck with that particular website, she decided to try another and signed up with Flirt.com. As she completed her profile, it seemed like she instantly started receiving messages; one, in particular, stood out to her. It was simple but straight to the point.
“Hello! I was looking through the new profiles and I must admit that yours stood out to me. I see we have several things in common and may even have mutual friends. It’s a shame that we don’t live closer, but I’d still like to get to know you. I’m going to be in your area this coming weekend. Want to meet up for lunch?”
Thrilled by the prospect and authenticity of the man’s message, Clara had the thought that perhaps things may finally fall into place after all.