The Gender-Flipped Dating Game: Dating Scandinavian Men

couple on the beach in autumn

If you are interested in dating Scandinavian men get ready to flip the gender script. Women are expected to make the moves in the frozen North. You may be a shy girl in your native land but here you’ll have to find your inner Amazon and take charge when you’re out on the town.

The men of Scandinavia are not considered forward in the dating scene. In fact, they don’t do the heavy lifting at all. With a culture that emphasizes gender equality, it’s not assumed that he will show his interest or attempt to get your attention. In some ways, this can be freeing. A woman needn’t bat her eyes and pout waiting to be noticed. On the other hand, it’s a major challenge to be tossed into an entirely different kind of dating style. There are more twists and turns to navigate.

From starting the conversation to getting his digits, it’s up to you. A mutual exchange of phone numbers is a great idea; though don’t wait around for him to call. He might, but he probably expects you to let him know you’re interested by giving him a ring. And if neither of you calls it’s simply a mutual rejection, a hallmark of the gender equality these cold Northern countries are famous for.

Find a Group

The first step is to find a group of people to go out to bars with. You will walk or take public transit to a local watering hole and proceed to drink. If all goes well you will drink until the social barriers come down and then you will flirt. And then, if you are lucky, you will go home together that night.

Spend the Night Together

The next step from there could leave it as a one-night stand (the standard for Scandinavian “dating”) or turn it into a relationship. If you set up a date afterward, you can discover if you are compatible.

An After Date

Dinner dates are not the norm, however. Movie dates are preferred since they require no conversation and can be spent enjoying holding hands or cuddling. Sundays are a very popular day for these “after dates” since a couple have met during the previous few nights and are now beginning their more formal courtship.

At Last

More dates of this kind can continue, as well as sex. If you have begun to converse while sober, enjoy each other’s company, and want to get more involved, after a few weeks you have become an item. The term for this person in your life translates to “the one I hold most dear.” Isn’t that sweet?

“If You Wanna Be My Lover…”

“You gotta get with my friends,” goes the Spice Girls tune. Once you are paired up don’t expect him to give up his friendships, and you should not either. Friendships are highly valued in these cultures and are not tossed aside for romantic relationships.

So as you can see, Scandinavian dating is a whole different scene than the standard Western male-centered version. For some women, this will be a breath of fresh air. For others, it will be nerve-wracking. Don’t be afraid to dive into that sea of Nordic gods to find your own Viking. Just remember what one does with a man: you swoop in and take him!