The Nice Guy Dilemma: Why Being Too Nice Is Not Attractive
If you’re a legit nice guy, you probably feel like you’re cursed because you seem to get rejected by women all the time. You aren’t alone! Men all over the world are baffled when women call it quits — they are loving, kind, giving, supportive, eager to please, faithful, and devoted to their woman. To them, they think that these qualities are things women require on their “list.”
Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out like that. During the beginning stage of the relationship, it is common for men to try and keep their women happy. More often than not, they are willing to jump through hoops to accomplish this. Nice guys tend to try a little harder and do a little more, especially when they take the next step to a deeper level of commitment.
These nice guys put their women ahead of everything and everyone in their lives. These guys think that it is what the woman wants and it will make her happy — but they’re wrong. It actually has the opposite effect. Sure, in the beginning she may be flattered and enjoys the attention; however, it gets old pretty quickly and she no longer wants to be the most important thing in his life. If this does happen, she might start losing her attraction to him. In all honesty, when she is the primary thing in his life, it sort of drives her away, and quickly.
She’ll start to resent him because he made his life revolve around her. Soon, she will start to lose respect for him because he is always so accommodating and adjusts aspects of his life just to appease her.
Once this has happened, the ‘Nice Guy Curse’ is in full effect. He will try to understand why the relationship is changing, but she won’t be very receptive. She’ll probably get frustrated and even lash out because she may not know the words to explain the change in how she feels — it’s just a feeling that she has; a feeling that she cannot describe.
Think about it… Before you get into a relationship, you have your own life. You go out with your friends, enjoy your own hobbies, go to places that you want to go… But when a nice guy gets into a relationship with a woman and he shifts his focus from his own life and focuses on hers? It simply should never be. You should never lose the sense of who you are. When you lose touch with yourself, she will start to wonder what attracted her to you.
A guy who entwines himself so intricately into her life has little left for his own life. Some women may like this and want a man who will do exactly that… But, most women will grow tired of it and will want to leave. This is where the attraction dies and so does the chemistry.
So, yes, it is possible to be too nice. You may think you are exactly what a woman wants, but in truth, you are doing yourself a disservice. You can be nice, but don’t lose sight of who you are as a person in the meantime.