How to Restore Your Sexual Confidence

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Sexual confidence is the key to a great sex life. It doesn’t come naturally to everyone and for many it has to be developed over time. You don’t have sex for the first time full of sexual confidence, for many it is something that will improve the more you do it. Unfortunately for some that confidence can get damaged. Perhaps you have had a traumatic breakup or something emotional happened to you in the past. Maybe it’s just a general lack of confidence that makes you feel like you’re just not very good at it. We take a look at how to restore your sexual confidence and improve your sex life.

How to inspire sexual confidence

For men, a lack of sexual confidence is not nearly as much as a problem as it is for women. Women can be much more hung up on body issues, how they look naked and whether you are going to notice the curves, stretch marks or any other things that make them who they are. They may like to have sex with the lights off and be very nervous or shy when it comes to letting you see them naked. Men like to watch women, they like to appreciate the look on their face during sex or watch them touch themselves. They aren’t judging what a woman looks like, they are more caught up in the moment. If you are in a relationship with a woman who isn’t the most sexually confident then you need to make her feel like she’s beautiful. Compliment her body, tell her when she does something that you like and encourage her to tell you what she likes.

Developing your own sexual confidence

Perhaps you’re out of touch in the bedroom department. Maybe you’ve not had a very fulfilling sexual relationship before. Whatever it is that is prohibiting you letting go in the bedroom, it’s time to start taking charge of the situation and working on changing it


Ok so maybe it’s a taboo subject but we’re talking about sexual confidence here and if you don’t know what you like, how do you expect your partner to know? Get to grips with your own body; what feels good and what arouses you so that you can communicate to your partner when you’re having sex.


Not sure what something means or how it should be done? If you have questions that you are too embarrassed to ask then Google them. Research sex, what men like, what women like, how to give the best blowjob or how to satisfy your lover. Knowledge is power as they say and if you feel more confident in your knowledge you should be able to transfer this to the bedroom (or wherever you next have sex)

Let go of your body image woes

So what if you’ve got stretch marks and/or cellulite? Does it really matter if you have a wobbly tummy? You need to love yourself before you can really let go. If you are with someone then it’s because they find you attractive. Why are you so hung up on these things and who is perfect anyway? If you are with someone shallow enough to let these things bother them then you need to let them go. It’s time to let go of those body image woes.

Exercise/get fit

The better we look the more confident we feel and so if you have body image issues then exercise could be just the ticket. Whether it’s losing a little weight or toning up those bits that you are unhappy with, it’s time to take control. Go to the gym, take up running or go to some exercise classes. As well as addressing the bits that you want to improve you will also feel better. Exercise has a way of making us feel good and improving our confidence. If you are looking at how to improve your own sexual confidence then this is an excellent place to start.

Spoil yourself

Ladies remember those times when you felt your best? You’d had your hair done, your nails done, your makeup was on point and you had treated yourself to a new outfit. Gents if you need a haircut and shave and a new outfit then do what it takes. If you feel good in yourself you will exude more confidence. Ladies if you want to go all out then invest in some sexy lingerie and tease him. Maybe send him a picture of what you’ve bought – really get him worked up. It will give you a sense of control as well which will make you feel confident.


Practice makes perfect as they say. If the first time with a new partner wasn’t what you wanted it to be then you just need to do it again until it is what you want it to be. Let go of the insecurities, stop judging yourself and let your hair down. The more you do it, the better it will get and the more confident you will become until there is no stopping you and you are an animal in the bedroom. You’ll either have one very worn out partner or one very happy one – perhaps a mixture of the two.

Sex isn’t something to be feared. It should be something that is enjoyed and celebrated by both parties. Guys if your partner is nervous then work at inspiring sexual confidence in them. Make them feel good, encourage, support, praise and compliment them although be careful not to go overboard and sound disingenuous. Ladies if you are working on how to restore your sexual confidence then use one or all of the above tips to help you. Do what you need to do to enjoy and not fear sex, let go of your insecurities and tell yourself it is something to be enjoyed. Before long you will be wondering why you were ever worried about it.