How to Tell if a Girl Likes You and if You Should Ask Her Out

talking couple

So, there’s this girl that you like and you aren’t sure if she likes you back. You want to ask her out on a date but you are scared that she might say ‘no’. It could be that you see her every day at work and don’t want it to be awkward if she rejects you or it could be someone that you value as a friend and don’t want to spoil it. Before you go in all guns blazing, declaring your appreciation of her, take a moment to analyse the signs and signals to try and work out if that girl likes you and if she is into you.

The signs that a girl likes you

Unfortunately, even in these more modern times, there are still some girls that will wait for a guy to ask them out rather than making the first move. Perhaps they just have traditional ideas about how it works or maybe they are scared of appearing too forward or being rejected themselves. It still largely falls to the man to make the first move and ask the girl out. To help there are some signs that you can watch out for to evaluate whether or not she is actually interested in you before you take the plunge.

Obvious signs that a girl is attracted to you

Some men just know when a girl likes them. Those men aren’t reading this though, they have already asked the girl out and are enjoying their dating. Sadly though, we can’t all have that exuberant confidence or courage to carry it off. Instead we have to look for the obvious signs as guys aren’t always the best at recognising those subtle signals and body language. The obvious signs that she is into you include:

• Touching your arm or your leg, being tactile and hugging you.
• Laughing at your jokes (even the terrible ones) is a strong sign that she likes you
• She is keen to talk to you when you meet and makes an effort to be where you are
• Initiating contact with you by text and being quite chatty with her responses
• Eye contact – does she look at you when she speaks to you and hold your gaze?

The subtle signals to watch out for

If the signs really aren’t that obvious and she isn’t hanging off your every word then you are going to have to think like a woman and find out if she is interested in you. Maybe talk to a female friend, as sister or a colleague and ask them what they do when they like a guy but perhaps are too shy to tell them. She might play with her hair which may be something you would never notice or perhaps she is generally much happier when you are around and is always smiling. Perhaps her body language is much more open and relaxed when you are around and she doesn’t fold her arms as soon as you approach.

How to know if a woman is not interested in you

For those signals that indicate that she is into you there are also those that demonstrate that she’s not. This is unfortunate and can be a tough pill to swallow but it is important to realise when she’s not into you before you ask her out and face rejection. Largely, they are pretty much the opposite of the signs that she is not into you. She may be flaky about any plans that might involve the two of you being somewhere (with friends or colleagues perhaps), she avoids your gaze, avoids physical contact and is blunt and to the point in her replies to the texts that you initiate. Maybe she knows that you like her from the signals that you give off and is trying to avoid you being asked out.

Ask her out or walk away

If there doesn’t seem to be a reciprocal response to your obvious attraction to her then you need to do one of two things: ask her out and find out once and for all or walk away and forget it. The first option does require a lot of courage as no-one likes to be told ‘no’. The trouble is if you don’t ask her you might be left wondering if she actually likes you but there is something holding her back.

Coping with the aftermath of her rejecting you

If you do ask her out and still have to see her then you are going to need to be able to deal with that without it being weird or awkward. Don’t sulk, don’t ignore her and don’t let it get all weird. If she is part of your social group this will make things awkward for other people and if she is a colleague you are still going to see a lot of her. Be friendly, polite and the same as you were before you asked her and move on with dignity. Don’t sit there quietly planning acts of revenge or making a fool of yourself. Be the bigger person.

What if she is just shy and doesn’t know how to act?

There is the chance that she does like you but is shy. Maybe she clams up when you are around because you make her nervous or perhaps she is trying to hide the fact that she likes you in case you don’t like her. Maybe she likes you but won’t admit it to herself. Perhaps she has had a previous relationship that wasn’t good and doesn’t want to be get involved again. Women are complicated beings and it can sometimes be difficult to distinguish between the cold shoulder and just an awkwardness of being hurt or committing.

You’ve analysed the signs and you are confident that she likes you or you aren’t sure but you are fairly sure that she doesn’t hate you. It is time to pluck up the courage and ask her out. Don’t beat around the bush and make it a painful experience. It’s a bit like ripping the plaster off. If it hurts it will only hurt for a minute but it will be much better afterwards. Get her alone (don’t do it in front of a crowd) and ask her out. You want to be face-to-face when you ask her out so that you can gauge her reaction. She is either going to agree, decline or ask for time to think about it. Go for it and put an end to all the wondering.