How to Handle Women Who Have Mommy Issues


Dealing with women who have mommy issues

The relationship between a mother and a daughter is important and healthy but what do you do if your girl has mommy issues? How do you know that they have these problems and what are the mommy issues signs and symptoms? Does your girl seem too close to her mom and do you feel like everything you do is relayed back to her mom who has an opinion on everything? Perhaps she is constantly seeking the approval of her mom about everything you do or decide as a couple. Sometimes, it can feel like there are 3 people in the relationship but how do you recognise the problem and how do you deal with women with mommy issues?

What are mommy issues and how do you recognise them?

At first, you may not recognise the signs. Perhaps you have been dating for a while and not yet met her parents. It may be that you know that she is close to her mom as they speak regularly but it isn’t until you are living together that you suddenly realise that there are issues that you didn’t know were there or just how much of a dominant force her mother is. Perhaps she is on the phone to her mom several times a day seeking approval. Does her mom turn up unannounced and let herself in or worse still does she have a key?

Dealing with a third person can be a problem

It is a tough thing to deal with. No-one wants a third person in the relationship especially one that you are going to struggle to compete with. How do you address it without upsetting her or, worse still, her mom? If you get the mom offside then you are going to have a problem. This is going to take some tactful and subtle methods to deal with.

Where do mommy issues come from?

Often these mommy issues come from a deep-rooted insecurity to seek the approval of the mother. It may be that nothing was every good enough for mom growing up and that she has constantly had to work hard to gain the love and affection that she should have got naturally. An overbearing mother is a force to be reckoned with and you are going to have to work hard to build the confidence and self-esteem of your partner. Building her up with praise and recognition and appreciating her for what she does and who she is, is a great place to start.

Making her believe in herself

The great thing about a woman with mommy issues is that often she has high standards. She looks great, she knows how to dress, she can cook and is great at looking after the house. On the flip side it may be hard to ever do things without the watchful eye of her mother. Perhaps you want to go away on a lad’s weekend and she is straight on the phone to her mom or maybe you have decided to paint the spare room a specific colour but mom has other ideas. Cutting those apron strings can be hard work and making her believe in you and your decisions as well as her own is going to need some effort and commitment from you.

The relationship problems that can arise from mommy issues

There are some problems that may arise from her issues with her mom as well as just the constant need for approval:

  • • She has difficulty trusting you
  • • Insecurities arise from a lack of confidence from always having to win approval
  • • Doubting her relationship with others
  • • Trouble establishing deep emotional connections
  • • Over-sensitive – what she looks like, her hair, what she’s wearing are never good enough
  • • Not a lot of friends
  • • She is overbearing and wants her own way
  • • Expectations are unmanageable

These problems can have a profound impact on your ability to build a relationship with this girl and to take it past a certain point where she is able to commit to you. Patience, understanding and the ability to recognise where her issues come from are much needed in this instance.

What about when it’s men with mommy issues

Often referred to as a mommy’s boy, it can be difficult to form a relationship with a guy who has a strong connection with his mom. As a woman, no one is ever good enough for a mommy’s boy and no matter what the woman does, she is never going to compare. This brings its own set of problems given that they will expect everything to be done for them, they will check everything with their mom and they will never hear a word said against her. He will also be used to getting his own way. Try as they might it is a difficult set of shoes to try and fill and can be exasperating at times.

Dealing with a mommy’s boy

The short answer is it’s probably best if you don’t try and be as good as his mom or attempt to fill her shoes. It is a thankless task. Be yourself and set out ground rules about what you are and aren’t prepared to do. Mothering him will just enable him to continue to expect others to do everything for him which will cause problems later down the line.

As times goes on, and the relationship develops it is not entirely unreasonable to expect the other person to grow to trust and respect your opinions and your way of doing things. Perhaps it is best to sit down and express your concerns. Try telling them that you understand their relationship with their parent but you prefer to do things your way or that you would rather not be compared to the mother. Make them see you for who you are and that you don’t always want to be compared to their mom. Perseverance, patience and understanding is key and resisting the urge to fly off the handle and criticise their relationship with their parent is a must.