Dating Tips for Men – Guide for Successful Dating
When considering the dos and don’ts of dating, the first point to be clear about is that there are no hard and fast rules. Every situation is unique to the people involved and when people go dating they are all looking for different things. But there is also a lot of common ground, with aspects that will strike a chord with most of us. So if dating does occasionally seem like a minefield, how do you avoid collisions and enjoy a mutually enjoyable voyage?
Online dating tips for men
The availability of Internet dating sites has opened a whole new avenue for anyone looking for love. But this convenience and excitement still carries a degree of responsibility, with several important tips for anyone using online dating.
While there may be a temptation to treat a virtual stranger with more flippancy than a ‘real date,’ always respect the individual you are connecting with. If you do hit it off (which remains the ultimate objective regardless of the dating medium you are using) you’ll likely want to work up to a face-to-face. Adopt a friendly approach while texting. By all means inject your messages with humor and do flirt a lot, but this should be more about building a confident relationship by finding out what you have in common. Once you’ve cracked this, subsequent dating will be so much more enjoyable because you’ll already have developed a strong chemistry.
How to flirt with a girl online
Flirting is a subtle art, requiring thought and a certain amount of panache. This is especially the case when you’re using a computer or smart phone to do this. Before firing off a message it is highly recommended that you read over it again, thoroughly. People using online dating sites are sometimes in touch with more than one client, so what could be more destructive than using the wrong name? Think carefully before pressing that all-important ‘send’ button. Once your text arrives in a partner’s inbox there is nothing you can do to retract it.
When it comes to dating tips for guys it’s crucial to consider exactly how suggestive you want to be with someone you’re just getting to know. Do you really want to divulge that embarrassing story from your student days? You might be able to think of an incident you will certainly laugh about once you’re better acquainted. Once you’ve built a relationship you can introduce as many amusing anecdotes as you wish, and funny or embarrassing tales are terrific icebreakers. But these need to be carefully sifted through, because until you’ve developed the trust that will only come after you’ve built a rapport, some of these will show you up in a poor light.
More dating tips for guys using the Internet
By all means make sexy innuendos and crack dirty jokes, but instead of describing what you’d love to get round to in her bedroom in graphic detail, ease it down a notch. Start by exchanging compliments. If you’re communicating on Skype or a similar video messaging service, tell her what a wonderful voice she has. Comment on her endearing accent or wonderful hairstyle. This type of flattery sounds so much more sincere than banging on about her body. Yes, you can certainly get round to that eventually, but all in good time.
Great advice for men is to put yourself in your partner’s shoes for a moment. How would you feel if you’d barely started communicating with someone you’d selected from a list of profiles, and immediately they began asking you about favorite sexual positions, or whether you’d be free to embark on a dirty weekend sometime soon? Doesn’t this conjure a sense of desperation as opposed to romance? Rather than a guy you’d love to gush about to your best friends and introduce to your family, the picture is of a complete pest – someone who has undoubtedly fired the same intrusive questions to a succession of women before randomly selecting you.
While stating that men shouldn’t go rushing into online conversations with sexual suggestions, it has to be acknowledged that many people do have one thing on their minds when it comes to hooking up with strangers. Some individuals approach certain dating sites focusing on exactly this scenario. But making a connection is far more important if your ultimate aim is a relationship rather than just meaningless casual sex.
Dating advice for men in the real world
How about what might be termed ‘traditional dating’? You’ve prepared the groundwork by getting to know your partner online and now you’re taking the plunge, arranging to spend the evening in each other’s company. Or perhaps you’ve arranged a liaison through a mutual friend?
First date advice for men should include this crucial tip: always be aware of the initial impression you will make. Before you’ve even introduced yourself the person you are meeting will form this by sight alone. Ideally your dress sense should be smart but casual. You don’t want to show up in a tux as this will only intimidate. But at the other end of the scale, a jeans, trainers and a baseball cap combo you might wear to sporting events will only make you seem apathetic towards your date.
In this respect other dating rules for men should include paying attention to how you present yourself once you do start conversing. The earliest moments of the date are all-important because these can go a long way towards determining whether the relationship will go on to be successful or not. Despite gender equality, essential as this is in modern society, women still like men who display masculine traits, like decisiveness and confidence. Nothing will ruin your date more effectively than if you come across as sheepish or tongue-tied. Lingering silences on a first date will make you come across as dull rather than shy, guaranteeing your relationship is derailed before it has even got off the ground.
It’s only natural for guys to experience butterflies before taking a female out, so it wouldn’t be a bad thing to get some practice in beforehand. Although spontaneity is everything, it wouldn’t hurt to rehearse conversation topics. This can be done in the privacy of your own home, or with a close friend willing to act out the part of your partner. This ‘mock date’ could well inspire you to think of oneliners you could save for later when you effortlessly deploy them on the spur of the moment.
Even if you do feel as if you’re bursting with confidence from the outset, men and dating is never a foregone conclusion. Always be prepared for any eventuality. If your date is someone you’ve been effortlessly chatting to online, the artificial nature of that type of communication could mean their real life personality is quite different to the brash, confident persona they’ve been hiding behind. All this means is that you need to take a sideways step and take a bit more time getting to know the true picture.
Finding common ground during disagreements
Of course, there are similarities between some of the rules for dating and the equivalent scenario for an actual relationship, but many of these have to be treated with even more sincerity. It’s one thing to know how to date a woman, but keeping her interested in the longer-term union requires greater dedication.
Dating is usually far more relaxed. Nights out where you stare into each other’s eyes over a dinner table. Drives into the country where you can pull over and gaze into the stars. If you get as far as paying attention to what’s outside. But once you’re in a relationship it’s worthwhile considering some of the ground rules that will now apply.
The unfortunate but inevitable aspect of getting to know each other well is that you will begin to see the faults as well as the endearing factors. How do you handle these fraught moments – and these will happen, no matter how deliriously happy you’ve felt since you decided to move in together. You’ll need to learn to appreciate the subtle differences in the way men and women think.
What if your partner is continually nagging you about something? The first thing to focus on is that this is perfectly natural behavior and not symptomatic of some radical personality defect that has suddenly come to the fore. So contextualize this friction. If something seems to have become a major issue for her, accept this fact. Never tell her that she is being unreasonable. And never, ever suggest her irrational attitude may well be linked to her monthly cycle. If you feel you are being nagged, the solution is quite simple. Go ahead and complete the task, especially if it’s something you did promise you were going to do. Another important aspect of this is that you don’t always need to capitulate either. If there’s a good reason why you haven’t done something within an agreed timescale, explain why. Your partner will scarcely feel like continuing her argumentative streak if you are being completely honest and upfront.
Relationships thrive on honesty
With Internet dating there is always scope to stretch the truth during your chats. This is all part of the games that potential partners can play when they are dashing off flirtatious texts. Once you become involved in a mature relationship this is something you need to put a lid on. There will still be a time and a place for gamesmanship, for occasionally flirting with other women to keep your relationship injected with a smidgeon of spicy jealousy. But the overriding aspect of what you have now is that you will be expected to be honest.
In the digital world it’s not unknown for old flames to suddenly message you out of the blue. Perhaps that person has been tippling and has become maudlin and sentimental. In this type of situation the worst thing you could do would be getting involved in follow-up messages behind your partner’s back. How would you feel if a former boyfriend was suddenly sending her friend requests? All it takes to diffuse potentially sticky situations is to be open. Show your partner the messages have a laugh about it all. There may be secrets you wish to harbor for whatever reason, but it is always far better to be share confidences.
Relationship tips for men – a conclusion
Your woman will respect you if you admit something that is bugging you. Imagine there is a situation at work that is clearly giving you cause for concern. Your partner will appreciate it if you use her as your sounding post. This attitude will work equally well within your relationship. At all times be prepared to articulate your aspirations or disappointments.
It would do no harm to look to the future and talk about what you are aspiring to achieve in the longer-term. Guys often get an unfairly bad rap about being creatures who can spend a fair bit of time with their head buried in the sand about the bigger things in life. This translates to spending hours engrossed in sports on TV or tinkering in the workshops in their garden sheds. But their other half will only feel delight if they feel willing to discuss their ambitions, demonstrating emotional maturity.
Finally, a tip that is worth saving to last. In any relationship, whether this has been ongoing for some time, or you are merely at the dating stage, a key ingredient is fun. If you enjoy each other’s company, then everything else will follow naturally. Humor is the spark that will keep those butterflies churning.
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