Men Reveal the Reasons Why They Cheat

couple before kiss

How many men cheat?

It can be very difficult to forgive someone after they have cheated on you, whether the occurrence was a one-off or they have embarked on a full-blown affair. Even if someone does decide to forgive a cheating partner and move on, they rarely forget about the hurt that was caused. There have been scores of studies and reports about cheating over the years, with the Institute for Family Studies saying that around a fifth of men have sex outside of their marriage, and 13% of women being unfaithful. It’s important to remember that not everyone is honest when participating in such studies, which means the true figures could be considerably higher.

Reasons why men cheat

Cheating can occur for a whole range of reasons. Some people cheat because their partner is no longer as attentive as they once were, with many straying after drinking alcohol and taking advantage of unforeseen opportunities. Many people are unable to resist the excitement they feel during acts of unfaithfulness, whilst some betray their partners at a young age because they are not emotionally mature enough to understand the consequences. It’s not uncommon for people to cheat as an act of revenge after they have been cheated on. Whilst some people are serial cheaters, others cheat once or twice, feel terrible shame and guilt and never play away again. Some people have even cheated after wrongly suspecting they have been the victim of cheating.

Cheating, intoxication and opportunity

Many men find temptation hard to resist, especially when they gain attention from ladies that they find attractive. Throw alcohol into the mix and it’s easy to see how they could find themselves doing something that they would never consider when sober. It can be very tempting for men to cheat whilst they are away from their normal environments. They might get to know someone when they are working away from home and often feel confident that their significant others will never find out.

Justifications, guilt and the lack of it

Not everyone feels guilty after cheating on their partners, with some saying it just “felt right” to play away. Some will ditch their current partners and replace them with someone they have been secretly hooking up with, whilst others will attempt to form a relationship with the person they have been sleeping with to no avail. Many men decide to cheat when their sex lives have taken a hit and they can no longer resist the urge to get intimate. If things have become stale in the bedroom at home, there’s always a chance temptation might rear its head. Some people even justify cheating by saying the experience “meant nothing” and was purely about sex rather than any sort of deep and meaningful emotional connection.

More causes of sexual mistakes

Many men describe acts of infidelity as “the biggest mistakes” of their lives. Some blame their hormones, immaturity and other factors, and it’s possible for men to feel as guilty about engaging in acts like kissing as full penetrative sex. However, some men only consider full sex to be cheating. Boredom can be a big reason for infidelity, which is why couples are urged to keep their relationships interesting and work harder to ensure they deliver the fulfilment each partner is seeking. Mental health issues are often blamed for cheating, and it’s not rare for people to cite anxiety and depression as reasons for such reckless behaviour. Many people argue that they simply wished to “feel wanted” before deciding to be unfaithful to their partners.

Reckless behaviour and youth

Countless reasons are given for acts of infidelity and unfaithfulness. A significant number of people feel that they settled down too quickly and committed to sharing their lives with one person before they were truly ready to do so. Many men feel their ‘number’ is too modest, saying they wish they had been intimate with more people before marrying or entering into a serious long-term relationship at a young age. Whilst some men employ what could be seen as excuses for their behaviour, others openly admit that what they did was wrong and say they had nobody and nothing to blame but themselves. Some men find it hard to grasp how hurtful their cheating actions are, especially during earlier adulthood. The sex drive of young men can develop much faster than their ability to make informed, sensible decisions.

A natural urge?

That part of a man’s brain that pursues sex could be up to two-and-half times bigger than that of a woman. It’s thought that men masturbate twice as regularly as females, producing 25 times more testosterone than women. Men seem to be biologically programmed to spread their seed as widely as they can, whilst women are more focussed on finding the perfect father for their children. If you were to look back over the course of human history, monogamy is a relatively recent concept, with our ancestors living in groups consisting of multiple men and women.

An easy escape route?

Let’s take a look at even more commonly-cited reasons for cheating now. Some men have used cheating to get out of unhappy relationships, using infidelity as an act of sabotage. Many people see ending things in this manner as easier than sitting down and explaining why they are unhappy and wish to leave. A large number of men say their cheating is or was linked to their ability to get away with it, especially when they are in relationships with highly forgiving women. Some males feel they are not valued by their girlfriends or wives and cheat when they meet someone who does seem to appreciate them more, whilst others blame peer pressure for their infidelity, especially when their friendship groups consist of shameless serial cheats.

Cheating in the modern world

The internet has enabled many men to partake in virtual cheating or cybersex – seen as harmless by a large number of males yet just as hurtful as real-life cheating by their partners. Denial has enabled many men to live with themselves and carry on with their day-to-day lives following instances of cheating. A substantial number of men do attempt to justify their cheating rather than admitting they were in the wrong. Many therapists say their male clients describe cheating as the only solution to the issues in their relationships. An unfaithful man may blame unsatisfactory or non-existent sex back at home, their natural biological urges, other men’s infidelity, work-related stress or unkind treatment from their spouse.

Cheating and validation

Addiction issues are a frequent cause of cheating. Issues with drugs, alcohol and sex itself can cause men to commit adultery. Cheating can also provide a short-term self-esteem boost, especially when a man feels he is not attractive, rich or smart enough. The validation they get from seeking out a new partner in secret can give them a powerful confidence boost, though this is normally temporary. A man may wish to end his current relationship but decide to start a new one so he has somewhere to go when he does make his exit. Many men cite feelings of loneliness and alienation in today’s world, failing to replace old friendships with new ones. Instead of working hard to make new male friends, he may wish to seek a new connection with a female mate. He may wish to escape the stress and strain that can come with family obligations by arranging exciting and risky encounters with a brand new partner. Whilst many men feel plagued with guilt after cheating, this is not always the case, and some men in relationships continue to cheat with a string of partners without feeling a scrap of guilt or remorse.

Do all men cheat?

Cheating is not inevitable, and a large number of men remain faithful to their partners throughout their lives together. It’s very important that men think carefully about the consequences of cheating before they do go ahead and betray their partner. The consequences can be dire and can involve losing their reputations, wives, girlfriends, friends, children, financial security and more.

How do men feel after cheating?

Many men feel disgusted with themselves after cheating, even if others feel no regret. It can take several years for unfaithful men to win back the trust and respect of the people around them. What’s more is that they may find it tough to find a new partner that trusts them if information about their past mistakes is made public knowledge. Nonetheless, the shame and regret that comes with cheating can stop many men from repeating the same mistakes in future. Some men feel so ashamed about infidelity that they can fall into a serious depression and may seek professional help.


The reasons for cheating are multiple and can be very complex, with some men citing the same reasons for cheating as women. If a man has been unfaithful in the past, it does not mean he will repeat this in future, but understanding the reasons given for infidelity may help you avoid being cheated on.