Dating Tip: Don’t Fall in Love with the Idea of Falling in Love

Why we Love the Idea of Falling in Love

The idea of falling in love is one that stems from our childhood. We hear of romance in stories and in films and many of us also watch our parents show their love and affection for each other. This imprints on us as we develop into adults and so, this is why we love the idea of falling in love. However, this idea can often result in us allowing ourselves to fall in love at first sight. It can almost become a weakness in a way because it lures us into a false sense of security. However, love is not about how we feel on first impressions because it requires a lot more than that, which is why we have to let natural science and our true feelings all play a part in forming a relationship that is true and real.

Often, the idea of falling into leave can almost leave us love blind. Essentially, this means that all we see is love and nothing else that is going on around us. The thought of being madly in love with someone can sometimes take over your true feelings and that can mean you end up getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons. Therefore, we need to think about things such as “Can we really fall in love at first sight?”. “Should we think about our true feelings first and not act on impulse?”. “ Is there more to love than just a physical attraction?”. “Are they falling in love with me?”. “Is it possible to fall out of love with someone?”These questions are rather pivotal in understanding why we shouldn’t fall in love with the idea of falling in love. So, how do you overcome the eagerness of falling in love?

First of all you need to Love Yourself

A relationship between two people that is healthy and thriving is one where each person is happy and comfortable in their own skin. Happiness is important in so many ways when it comes to love, that you need your own happiness and to love yourself before loving anyone else.

Naturally, we all have flaws but many of us are afraid to accept them which means that we fall in love when in a relationship for often the wrong reason. You could find solace in a relationship to help you deal with loneliness or to seek comfort or to even take away the pain of something that may have happened to you in your life. Happiness is something that can bring great satisfaction when it helps you work towards being the type of person that you would like to be.

Understanding how to fall in love with yourself is an exciting process because it can give you more self-awareness but also make you healthier and even more realistic which can obviously help you when you are in a relationship. Therefore, you need to be selfish in a way and spend time focusing in yourself.

People change over time but when it comes to loving yourself, you need to move forward and progress and not be the person who shrinks. A part of this process is striving for all things great and understanding what makes you angry, what makes you live as well as determining what you want to achieve.

Loving yourself is all about getting out of your comfort zone and using your thoughts and beliefs as well as any setbacks or failure to flourish and grow. Time is something that we cannot defeat and so, we look to deal with it in certain ways and this can affect how we love ourselves.

Loving yourself before you love others is in your own hands. You need begin smiling again, have an understanding about who you want to be and then love yourself. Loving someone else is built on a foundation of loving yourself and only you can achieve that.

Why Falling in Love at First Sight is not as simple as it seems

Of course, falling in love at first sight and falling in love quickly can happen but these are very rare instances because falling in love is not as simple as this. Falling in love at first sight often comes from the very first time we meet someone and the way in which we are attracted to their physical appearance. This is a trait that is rather superficial but is it enough to form a solid bond or connection. Many people believe that this is how men fall in love but that is not the case because there is a perception that men have a fear of falling in love. It is natural for us to become attracted to people from a physical appearance perspective but that also means that you know nothing about that person and who they really are. Therefore, this is often the reason why you should not fall in love after the first date. The person could have a difficult personality but they could also have a violent history – effectively you do not know a single thing about who they are and so, you should understand the real signs of falling in love as opposed to believing in the first thing that the feel when they see someone. It is important to remember that the physical appearance is only a small insight into who they are as a person and that can make it extremely difficult to find out who they are.

A healthy relationship is not purely driven by attraction because it runs deeper than that. It is about communicating and having a mutual understanding. Once you experience this, then you can decide whether it is right to start falling in love with a colleague. It is not a case of meeting someone for the first time and there and then deciding that you can fall in love fast because that can come with an element of a false sense of security. Sure, you can see someone on the street and have an element of attraction to them but you should not be asking yourself at this point “is he falling in love with me?” because they know just as much about you, as you know about them and that is what true love is all about.

The Science behind Falling in Love

Most of us will know that falling in love with another man or woman makes us feel different. In fact, the feeling is almost alien because we are not familiar with it but it is one of the many signs that you are falling in love.

When you click with someone you will experience the chemistry of falling in love. As the conversation flows well and you feel comfortable around each other you will begin to think that they are in fact the most amazing person in the world. There are feelings of attraction and lust as well as an attachment as the relationship develops but what is the real science behind falling in love?

Attraction is the first part of the process because this is where certain chemicals are released in the brain. A feeling of happiness is caused by dopamine which is why all you do is think about them while losing your appetite and have sleepless nights. Along with this, Norepinephrine is released with causes stress responses to activate which leads to a rise in heart rate and sweating. To add to this, Serotonin levels will drop and this means that all you do is think about the other person.

Lust is boosted by a number of chemicals in our bodies such as testosterone and oestrogen as they make us want to experience love. Lust is influenced by looks and personality but it is also influenced by the fact that we are often attracted to people who remind us of our parents.

Attachment involves the formation of a bond and so, the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are released. When we become intimate, the oxytocin is released as it helps us to form trust as well as the intimacy we crave. Vasopressin on the other hand is a hormone that actually helps the body to retain water but during intimacy it helps to encourage commitment. Finally, the endorphins that are released help to suppress pain and form a level of a heightened sense of security.

Clearly, there is an in-depth science behind falling in love which is why love at first sight is not strictly true.

The Difference between Men and Women Falling in Love

We all know that men and women are different. When it comes to falling in love, women fall in love at a slower rate than men which is rarely why he pulls away when falling in love. A woman has different feelings that are more delicate and subtle. A woman will balance up her feelings in her heart and her head and will determine whether her desires are satisfied. Once she has realised this, she will devote her love to him. Men on the other hand are more emotional and so, they can fall in love quicker and at first sight, or so they believe. They have a psychological need to fall in love that is often formed around the physical appearance of a woman.

Women fall in love so quickly because they have a fantasy that they want to fulfil which is almost like a fairy-tale romance. Men are more rational in that they do not see a fairy-tale romance because they want to grab the moment with both hands until they feel the satisfaction they desire.

When it comes to paying attention, women can often look at things in a different way to men. They can sometimes become obsessed with their own love and partners but with men it is different. When a man loves a woman deeply, they still pay attention to what is around them and in particular the world outside.

So, what does falling in love mean?

Love is an intricate process that involves science, feelings and a lot more. Our feelings can often take over common sense and so, when we see someone we find attractive we can often mistake those feelings for feelings of love. This is down to the fact that we love the idea of falling in love. Falling in love is something that happens naturally over time but there is a path that you have to follow in order to form a true and honest relationship. Love is something that should be kept for someone who is special to you and truly means something to you and so, we should try and avoid falling in love with people we do not know, such as colleague or a first date. Love is a strange phenomenon but it has been happening since the day we first began roaming the planet and that means that we should understand what it means by now. We know when we feel true love and when we lose love. This should allow us to understand that the idea of falling in love is different to finding real love. Focus on yourself and follow what your heart desires and true love will follow.