Eye Contact: Potent Silent Communication in the Language of Love

woman and man in the nightclub


There are undoubtedly truths about eye contact, and a lot of this is to do with chemistry. As human beings we look at one another all the time, from strangers we pass in the street to that person we have a secret crush on. But at some point eye contact alters from being a mundane aspect of daily behaviour to something much deeper.

Consider this scenario. You’re in a club and standing by the dancefloor sipping a drink. You observe the huddle of lithe bodies enthusiastically gyrating to the pounding music. Any number of girls catch your eyes while you are scanning the sea of attractive faces looking for someone special. Then your gaze lingers on one female in the middle of the throng. She holds your gaze. Instantly your experience a hormonal rush. Somehow you know, you just know, this girl is special, and that the attraction that is overwhelming you is stronger than anything else you’ve felt this evening.

What happens next would be entirely up to you. Buy her a drink. Find a secluded corner. Get to know her. The point is, it’s that initial eye contact that is all-important. It can create an instant spark, fast-forwarding any need for small talk to a point where mutual attraction becomes an irresistible urge pulling you together, potent as a tractor beam.

At this stage it would be wishful thinking to look upon this subliminal captivation as chemistry, as this requires a connection of minds that will only follow once you get to know each other better – but it most certainly paves the way for chemistry to develop.

When eyes lock together, even across a crowd, all sorts of positive signals can be transmitted. A sense of familiarity can develop between complete strangers. When you do hook up and strike up a conversation, staring into one another’s eyes can become the dominant aspect of the connection, the actual words being spoken becoming a lesser concern.


Here’s another nightclub scenario, one that illustrates that eye contact is not always symptomatic of being presented with the windows into the soul of a potential soulmate.

You stand at the edge of the rammed dancefloor, tracking the movements of one girl who is dancing around with a bunch of her pals. Whenever she casts a glance in your direction you return her stare, your eyes boring into hers. Each time your eyes meet you feel butterflies swarming inside your stomach. As the music recedes you’re already running through your chat-up lines, and as she disengages from the dancefloor and heads in your direction you take a deep breath, ready to introduce yourself. She looks you in the eye and screeches: “What the hell do you keep staring at, buddy? You want a picture?”

Be warned. Eyes can tell more than one truth.