What to Text after a First Date

woman thinks what to text

If you need to know what to text to a woman after a first date, this article is for you. It can be hard to decide what to text to a lady following your first meeting, and some men wonder whether it’s a good idea to even send anything at all. Many men decide to wait until they have received a message before they go ahead and send any further correspondence. If your date went well, you will want to keep the momentum flowing, but many men won’t want to appear too eager or pushy as this can be off-putting.

Do you know when to text after a first date?

Your first text after a date can be approached in a number of ways. You might decide to be a little playful, engage in a spot of flirting or ask if and when a second date is going to go ahead. The very idea of sending this text can be incredibly daunting, especially if you’re worried about being rejected and concerned that the girl won’t want a second date. Nonetheless, if you do wish to proceed with the conversation, here are a few ideas that are unlikely to cause offense.

What to text after a first date

Why not start by asking her if she got home safely? You can do this at the end of the night or wait until the next day. You may wish to wait a while before you send this text, but if you do take action before the end of the night, you can show that you are concerned about her well-being. If she asks you a question in the text or seems chatty, you could continue the conversation or wait until the next morning. Much of this advice applies to women as well as men, so you can follow much of this if you are wondering what to text a guy after a date.

Did you have a good time? Let them know!

Don’t be afraid to let her know if you had a great time on the date. Most girls are happy to learn that you enjoyed yourself during a date with them. You don’t need to send this straight away. If you are worried about looking too pushy, you could leave this for 24-48 hours or so. Don’t leave it too long though, as she may assume you are not interested in taking things further and could be arranging dates with others as we speak! This can help you lay down the foundations for a great second date. Don’t be too downhearted if she says she doesn’t think it went too well. Wish her good luck and continue on your journey.

Preparing to ask for a second date

It can also be a good move to tell her about specific events during the date that you enjoyed to keep the conversation flowing. You could talk about a great moment or a discussion that you had that you want to add to. If you want to go on a second date, don’t keep this to yourself. If you don’t explicitly say this, she may assume that you are not interested in meeting again. Again, it’s wise to avoid being too pushy, so try to arrange it for a few days down the line or even a week or so into the future rather than that very night. You can even let her know if you didn’t enjoy the date so much and would prefer to leave things that way. Women appreciate honesty and don’t like people wasting their time, so it really is best to be upfront. If she feels the same way, she will be happy that she’s not the one that has to send the text.

Age-based texting preferences

Women seem to enjoy the chase less as they get older. Younger ladies tend to be more enthusiastic when a man doesn’t text immediately after a first date, but as they get older they have less time to waste. If you don’t get back to them within a few days, there’s a big chance more mature ladies will decide you are playing games with them and decide to kick you to the curb. The more the girl seems to genuinely like you, the more confident you should feel about sending a follow-up text.

Avoid over-texting

It’s wise to avoid texting too often in the early stages of a relationship. Not only is there the risk of appearing desperate, but you could also essentially become pen pals and risk toning down the chemistry and fun during face-to-face meetings. Make sure you leave something to talk about when you do meet. Texting can be used to discuss things that happened during dates, and you can discuss various other issues when you meet in a real-world environment. Some women get bored with just texting and not actually meeting very often, so if the conversation is flowing during texting sessions, it’s a good idea to schedule the next date as soon as possible. You don’t want your new relationships to be more focussed on texting than face-to-face communication.

The risks of sexting

One thing you maybe should involve engaging in too quickly is sexting. Sexting is only a good idea when you have already had sex. It’s best to wait until you have actually crossed the boundary physically before you move onto sexting. If the lady is the first to move things towards the issue of sex, you may wish to embrace this, but try to keep it light rather than becoming sexy pen pals. Try not to focus the conversation on sex too much, whatever happens. If a woman thinks she is being pursued purely for sexual reasons, there’s a big chance she will start to see you in a negative light, no matter how much she wants to take things further. Even if you have been asked to, it’s a very bad idea to send raunchy pictures of yourself to another person, especially if you don’t know them too well.

Avoid drunk texting

Texting when drunk is also a very bad idea, especially when you are in the early stages of a relationship and want to keep things moving in a positive direction. When you drunk text, you risk sending correspondence that you could soon come to regret, and your phone could become a weapon of mass destruction. don’t use texting as a substitute for phone calls – if the reason for texting is because you don’t feel comfortable speaking to her on the telephone, the relationship may not have too much potential after all.

Review before sending

Try to keep your texts brief when possible. If you write too much, you could risk appearing unhinged or desperate, which can be incredibly off-putting. Check your message over several times before you go ahead and press ‘send’, as there’s no going back once you have taken this step. When you send a long text, the lady might feel under pressure to reply, as if she somehow ‘owes’ you a reply. Sending emojis can also be dangerous. Whilst some women may deem these to be cute, others regard them as immature and highly unappealing. It’s important to only send a message when you have received one – don’t bombard her with consecutive texts before you receive a reply as the woman could become instantly unattracted to you. Some men limit themselves to around five texts a day to keep ladies interested and avoid irritating them. Remember, if you’re not sure whether it’s a good idea to send the text that you have just composed, consider deleting it before it’s too late.

Don’t let your device destroy you

Don’t let your phone become a weapon of mass destruction that destroys your chances of taking things further with a lady. Remember to text responsibly, avoid drunk texting, sexting unless she has decided to take the conversation in this direction, bombarding her with messages and using too many emojis. You shouldn’t use texting as a substitute for real-life meetings or verbal conversations, and you should do all you can to prevent the two of you essentially becoming pen pals.


Remember that one simple schoolboy error really can ruin everything. This is why it’s so important to pay attention to etiquette when you are getting to know a lady and are using text messaging as a conversational method. Don’t assume that a girl isn’t interested if she doesn’t reply to you immediately and try not to pressurize her into continuing the conversation. Women may wait to reply to you for all sorts of reasons. They may be very busy, asleep, in a low mood or uncertain about how to respond. If you have sent a text but are yet to receive a reply, try to think about something else and continue going about your day. Texting too much can make you look incredibly needy. You don’t even need to reply immediately when she texts you – playing a little hard to get can work wonders when it comes to keeping a girl interested. Try to keep the text between you and her ratio at 1:1 and don’t send unnecessary texts. If you are texting for the sake of it, chances are that she will be able to tell.

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